More Than Bruises
by NovelFlower
Summary: Tobias was not the only one. Two years after Tobias left Eleanor, Eleanor leaves Abnegation, wanting more than just an escape in Dauntless. Eleanor wants closure, she wants to know why she was left alone, and she wants justice. But Eleanor must come to terms with what she has become, and whether life is worth anything at all... The bruises are more than just skin deep...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: OK! Right! (Breathes deeply) I'm so excited for this! This is my Divergent Fan Fiction – the predictable Four/OC (Sister) story! Except – this one will not be 200 words per chapter, 7 chapters long and never finished! Oh NO! I have been trawling through the Fan Fiction site for any story over 10 chapters and I've found approx. 2! So... I thought I could make it approx. 3! He He!**

**Anyways, please, please, please read and REVIEW! It would make my world! Constructive Criticism is welcome, (NOT – 'This is crap!') and I love a little praise - I'm human OK! Tell me if you like it, if you have another story to recommend – etc. Just DM me!**

**NovelFlower Xoxo**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I am not Veronica Roth, I do not own any of the characters, except my OC (Eleanor Eaton) so you don't need to sue!**

I take a deep breath. My hands are shaking, my skin mottled a bruised purple. I take a glimpse over my shoulder; my long hair spiralling round my face; long, dark strands whipping my cheeks, harsh, and just like any other blow I have taken, cold and unfeeling. Sunlight trickles in through my window, its golden glow almost calming my heart beat, yet not quite. I turn around, not quite ready for what is to come. I step into my bedroom once again. I let my hands trail the walls, gliding over the smooth, un-indulgent grey of my walls. I stare at my desk, my plain bed. Knowing, tonight will be the last night I will sleep in this bed. Suddenly, yet slowly, as if not to disturb the memories to quickly, I turn to face the closet, and as slowly as I tried to turn, all the memories come rushing back. The screams, the sobs, the pleads for the torture to end. I let the tears slip, for the first time in two years I feel the emotions course through my veins, the adrenaline kicking in, and I find myself letting the anger come out.

On an adrenaline powered impulse, I run from my room, into his, I let my body take over, my hands scrambling for his few, hidden, forbidden treasures. Soon, I find the crystal glass ornament. I bring it up to the light, watching it sparkle as the pattern reflects on the walls; then, hating its beauty, I fling it to the ground, letting out a scream of frustration. My father comes rushing up the stairs, I watch his face fall, before coming cold as he processes the tiny shards of glass glittering on the floor.

'How _dare _you!' He screeches the words out, not bothering to stay quiet. Swiftly, as if by instinct I watch him take his belt out of his trousers, I know what should happen next. He'll hit me, and I'll cower, soon starting to beg him to stop. Not today. Not on the last day – today I _will _defend myself; soon he will no longer be able to touch me. Soon, there will be no way for him to inflict any more pain on my heart. Today, I will win, _I _will conquer him. As he coils the belt around his arm, like a snake, I stand tall. As he unravels it, I stand tall. As he brings it down onto my face, striking my cheek, I stand tall. I will _not _let him win. Never again.

Instead, I walk away from him, not letting him see the tears that fall like rivers down my face, not letting him see my shaking hands.

I will walk away.

And soon,

I will be gone.

Like _him_.

The person who abandoned me.

The only person in the world I hate more than my father.

My brother.

Tobias.

He said he would protect me – he said he would be there for me. He swore on his life, that he would always be there - to stop things going too far. He promised me he would stop it, he said he could stop me hurting. I was only five when he said that, yet, I still remember now. I remember now, the broken promise. I believed him. But he left. He left me with mymonster of a father.

I wipe the memories away, along with the tears as I walk down the stairs, through the hallway, out the door. I slam it shut. And then, I collapse against it, the tears cascade down my face like waterfalls as I sob, and I use my sleeves to rub against my eyes. I _have _to stop. Before anyone sees me...

Today, I will find out which faction I belong to – and I will listen to the test – as long as it doesn't say Abnegation. I doubt it will, but if it did, well... I don't think I'd know what to do.

After a few minutes, I stand up - the wind making my eyes even more watery than they were. At least I'll have an excuse. The bus draws up at the end of the street. I jog up to it, my clothes billowing. When I get on, I notice Beatrice and Caleb Prior; and I smile. I like Beatrice, and I wonder if we might end up in the same faction. You never know, and Beatrice, most certainly, will not be staying in Abnegation. Caleb, however, seems to be a done deal – although there seems to be a little misperception of him. I wonder if I am the only one who has noticed how much time he spends in the library. It will be a scandal, of course; Abnegation or Erudite?

The bus bumps through the roads, and I can't help but smile, knowing that this time tomorrow I'll nearly be _free. _A concept that I am completely new to, freedom is one of the many things Marcus deprived me of. I was never allowed to go out with my friends, or help with the factionless – unless he was there. Of course, then it was fine.

The first part of the morning goes by quickly and I all can hear is my heart pounding. I don't see or hear _anyone _else; just me, my heart and my soon to come freedom. The bell finally goes, and everyone files into the canteen to wait.

The Erudite have their heads all bent over books and newspapers, the Amity playing some childish clapping game, Candor arguing with smiles on their faces, Dauntless playing a card game, the laughter echoing, making me more desperate to be free from the Abnegation ways. We sit quietly contemplating our 'selflessness', defying the human nature like this makes me sick to the stomach.

Slowly, the hall starts to empty as names our called. Alphabetically by surname, my surname is Eaton, and it is not long until my name is called. My hands are shaking violently and all I want to do is get it done and over with...

I need to know;

Where am I going to go?

**A/N: Hope you liked this! If you did – TELL ME! If you didn't – TELL ME how I can improve! (By REVIEW!)**

**NovelFlower Xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everyone! Just to let you know I will not be uploading every day but I'm currently ill so I had some time! I will probably upload once a week once I'm back at school! (Groan). Anyway, PLEASE PLEASE review! I need to know what you think and how I could improve! I love you guys and want to give a HUGE THANKYOU to all my followers and favouriters (I know – that's not a word!) - it means the WORLD to Me! **

**Enjoy!**

I jerk up. My breathing heavy, I un-clench my hands from the side of the seat, they are sore and red, I must have been holding that seat tighter than I would have liked to think.

That was not easy.

I just have to hope I didn't get Abnegation. Images flash through my mind like lightning; sudden, bright and fast. I takes me a little while to get my surroundings back. I sit up from the creamy leather chair.

The room is just white, neutral walls, possibly designed so as nod to influence our choice, I shake my head, as if I can erase any fear by a little rattle to my head.

I look at the woman, the person who knows what could be my future. She is tall, with a slightly darker than tan colour skin, her hair is long and dark, her clothes tight and black, her eyes cold. She is very obviously Dauntless.

'So, what am I?' I say, she seems a little shell-shocked. I frown. What's wrong? My heart starts to pound. What have I done wrong?

'I don't know.' She says, her face blank.

'What the hell? _This _test was meant to tell me whatever I'm meant to do! There has to be an answer! It cannot be-'

She cuts me off, 'You're Abnegation;' I close my eyes. Please, please don't let this be happening. Shi-

'And Dauntless, and Candor'

My jaw drops, 'Hang on a second, I'm only meant to get _one _test result! Not three!'

She glares at me, 'Look, _no-one _can know about this – _no-one_! It's called _Divergent_.' She whispers the last word, glancing around. 'I'm going to register you're result as Dauntless and you are going to act like nothing has happened. Is that clear?'

I nod. I think I know what will happen if I do tell someone. I remember, when I was younger, and my mother was still alive, she and my father were in the kitchen. Their words were whispered, it was all vague, but I remember my father said _that _word, _Divergent_; my mother scolded him. She had said it wasn't safe. But I can't help thinking –

Wasn't safe from _what_?

There is a rumour going round; according to the legend, Beatrice Prior went home sick. Apparently the serum made her sick; to me it all seems a little too vague and suspicious for it to be true. I wonder what really went on in her test – was her situation like mine?

I don't know what to do. I really don't; I did register as Dauntless. But I also registered as Abnegation and Candor. So what am I suppose to do?

I know that I cannot be in Abnegation, so that leaves me with the option of being a Candor Smart-Mouth or a Dauntless maverick. Then, it occurs to me – I cannot become Candor, what if they put me under the Truth serum? Everyone would know I was _divergent_, and I know that whatever would happen after that would not be good.

I consider going Factionless, rather than seeing my _brother_, but I think being Factionless would be worse. The likelihood of me being able to camouflage myself as a Dauntless with an addiction to an _adrenaline buzz_ is high. That makes my choice for me then.

I will become Dauntless.

That night, I go to bed earlier, to avoid Marcus, but to also let the morning come sooner; the morning of freedom.

When I do see my father he has a hopeless look in his eyes. He knows I won't be staying, and I am glad, he can live with the torment. Live with the fact that he will be _alone_, because no-one will be there.

Ever again.

What makes me smile even more is the fact that he has _no-one _to blame but himself – he was the man who hurt those close to him, so they left him. It's a lesson, to any bully; people will leave you if you hurt them. Blood tie or not.

The morning comes slowly, I did not get an inch of sleep in the night, my stomach twisting, wrenching, and turning itself over and over, until it is in one hundred knots. No matter what angle I turn to, how much I thrash, how much I stay still; how many numbers I count up to – I _cannot _get to sleep. By the time dawn comes, I am so fired up I know there is no way I could be in any way tired. Not until the end of the day. When this is all _over. _

I get up early, skipping breakfast and jogging to the hub. I need to push myself. I need to be prepared for the Dauntless ways.

There are few other people there when I arrive; I take a seat in the front row, waiting for others my age to arrive so we can line up. It doesn't take long before they get there. Soon, the room is filled up. My heart is hammering and I can feel my hands shaking.

I watch my father reciting the speech, my lip curling in disgust as I watch him lie, he is so convincing – I could nearly fall for it. My father would make an _awful _Candor.

Soon, the names are called, and it is about twenty minutes before I am summoned over to the centre of the hub. I walk over, my hands shaking as I grab the knife. Swiftly, I slit the side of my hand, not flinching, I must become intolerant to pain, this is the only way I will be able to survive. I watch the blood stream from my hand, sizzling on the Dauntless coals, I wonder if I pressed the knife down a little too hard.

I hear whispers, the start of the gossip and rumours, and smile – what a _scandal _– the two children of Marcus Eaton leaving him for Dauntless. What does that indicate? Well, we'll let the Erudite guess, and I can bet you they will guess right. Erudite are never wrong.

The cheers go up in the air, the Dauntless cries overwhelming, the sea of black standing up and whooping, and finally, I am happy; I am free;

I am _Dauntless_.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey Guys! Another sick day, plus it's May Day Holiday so I thought I'd celebrate by uploading another chapter! Thank you ****_so so_**** much to all my favouriters and followers + my first reviewer. You guys have really made my weekend! I hope you like this chapter! If you don't – do tell! Also, check out my Instagram account for my fanfiction writing novelflower as it will include lots of sneak peeks, drawings and great quotes! (Plus a few dedications!)**

**NovelFlower Xoxo**

I stand in the Dauntless crowd at the front of the seats, and I watch. I watch these people make a choice that will change their lives forever. As I thought, Caleb Prior turns to Erudite, and everyone seems so shocked, but I'm not. Caleb was in the library, his head in the books since he was five years old. Beatrice Prior, the girl who went home sick, chooses Dauntless. I smile when she makes that choice, it will be nice to have someone I know with me, as we battle and go through the Dauntless initiation together, apparently it is the hardest initiation out there. But I will get through. I have to. Or _he'll_ find me.

When the Ceremony has finished, we storm the halls, shouting and yelling as we leave the building by the stairs. Completely unlimited, free; it feels amazing.

I smile as we approach the tracks, first task; jump onto the train.

Easy.

I am the first initiate and I end up jumping into a carriage with no other initiates, just Dauntless members. 'Ooh,' A cold eyed guy says, he's extremely bulky and he has various piercings. I already don't like him. 'First jumper is a Stiff!' He snickers and I glare at him. 'Hey!' One of the other members calls, 'What's your name?' I stand in thought for a second before I say, 'Lena,' A few nod their heads, and smile. 'What about your surname?' Another one shouts.

'Does it matter?' I snap, 'Its Eaton.' My smiling exterior goes cold, but no-one notices – they're all too caught up in my surname. A smiling girl calls to the back of the carriage, 'Hey! Zeke! It's Four's sister!' A tan skinned guy, with smiling eyes, charges through the crowd. Then he stands and stares at me. 'Excuse me.' I snap, 'I'm sorry, I'll stand a little stiller, I didn't realise I was some sort of attraction.' I turn my back. Behind me I hear a few whistles, and someone whispers, 'Feisty!' I roll my eyes as let the wind whip my face, causing my hair to slap me hard across my eyes. My eyes start to water, and I wipe them before it looks like I have been crying.

Soon, a Dauntless member calls out, 'We're here!' The cheers go up, and everyone clears a path in the centre of the carriage. The cold-eyed guy whispers in my ear, 'If you're really Dauntless, you can be the first to jump off the train.' I nod and go to the back of the carriage. There is a small space, but I know I can make it. I give a small run up. Then; I leap. I am the first out of my carriage, and I land on my feet. I do not stumble. Behind me shouts, cheers and whoops go up as the Dauntless members jump out, I watch initiates tumble and trip, and I smirk, smug with my victory.

We gather at the front of the roof of a deserted building, the cold eyed darer introducing himself as Eric. I stand slightly away from the initiates, as if to distinguish myself as different. Because, _I_ have all ready started to prove myself as either the stupidest or bravest Dauntless anyone has come across yet. I'm not sure.

While Eric is giving his speech, I pull off my Abnegation slacks, revealing an extremely form fitting grey top and grey leg hugging trousers. A few boys eye me up, including Eric. Beatrice jumps into the cavern first, and I go second. I don't do anything; I just stand on the ledge, and jump. I am silent as I fall into a net. I smile, proud of myself, I was not scared. I knew it would be safe, Dauntless are not stupid, and they wouldn't have _any_ members if they killed all their initiates.

I climb over to the edge of the net. A hand offers me assistance and I grab it. He is looking over his shoulder, checking out Tris, I smile, she already has an admirer. I recognise the guy, slightly, but I cannot really see him properly, until he turns around. We both gasp at the same time.

It's Tobias.

'Eleanor?' He says; his face suddenly pale. 'It's Lena,' I contradict him.

'What are you doing here?' His eyes are wide,

'Same reason as you, Tobias.' I smirk at him, 'Oh, and I just wanted to say thanks; you've been great at having my back. You know,' I pause, watching his face fall, 'promises are hard to keep when you're not there to keep them.'

With that, I stalk off, leaving him calling my name. At the last second I turn around, and shout, 'Hey Four! It's Lena, not Eleanor!' I join Beatrice, who tells me she is now Tris, 'What was that about?' She asks, 'Oh, just sorting out a little unfinished business with my brother. That's all.' She nods, 'Wait! He's your brother?' I beam at her, 'Yeah – you didn't know?' Tris shakes her head, looking shocked.

My work here is done.

We follow Tobias, or Four as he known, into a big cavern in the centre of this underground secret. Christiana, a Candor smart mouth tries a cocky remark and gets it from Four, I smile. We are more similar than I think.

Then, we are lead back to where we are staying, boys and girls. Tris looks a little unnerved, whether it's the changing or the sleeping I don't know, probably both. Some jerk, Peter makes a stupid comment about her. Tris and I may not be friends but I will not let anyone get away with treating someone from my faction like that. I walk up to Peter, smile sweetly, bring my fist back and punch him right in the gut. He doubles over, yelping, 'Let's make this clear,' I glower at him, 'if you so much as touch, or make a single remark like that, to _anyone ever again_ you will be pleading for me to kill you. Ok?'

He nods, and I stalk off, and again someone whistles, as I pull off my shirt I call out, 'If anyone dares whistle again, they'll be much worse off than Peter is right now.' I strip of my trousers and grab my new Dauntless clothes. Looking at them for a minute, in just my undergarments, I know I have to get over my Abnegation ways, and the only way I can do that is defy any fear I have.

I _have _to camouflage.

**A/N: Hope you liked this twist. I know Lena has revealed a little bit of a dark, more manipulative side, but trust me – all will be revealed soon! **

**Ps: It's called self-preservation!**

**NovelFlower Xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi everyone! Quick A/N today! Hope you like this chapter – please review and follow me on Instagram novelflower for illustrations and more fun stuff!**

**NovelFlower Xoxo**

'Hey!' I hear a shout behind me as I walk into the hall. Slowly, I rotate, noticing a tan skinned guy jogging towards me. I soon find myself standing face to face with him, 'Do I know you?' I ask, curious to what he is doing talking to me. 'Sorry,' he says, giving me a slightly cocky smile, 'I'm Uriah, Zeke's brother.' He looks at me, like I'm supposed to know who Zeke is. 'Who's Zeke?' I say, tilting my head to get a better look at him. His skin, taking a closer look, is slightly darker than golden brown, his eyes smiling, and his hair handsomely messy. 'My brother,' Uriah explains, 'average height, looks a little like me- uh, look, he's over there!' He points at a table full of Dauntless members, and unsurprisingly, none of which are Tobias. The boy who Uriah is pointing at, I recognise him, and then I remember the girl calling his name, and the way he stared at me.

I nod my head, not revealing anything. 'Look, I've heard interesting things about you, I, I mean we,' he gestures at a table of Dauntless born initiates, 'wondered if you wanted to come sit with us.' He looks nervous, bouncing on his toes and glancing over at the table. I smile, and say, 'Sure. I'd like that.' Uriah grins and I follow him to the table.

He looks around at everyone, 'Guys, this is Lena, Four's brother.' A girl with a shaved head, smiles, 'So you're the snappy bitch everyone's talking about then.' I laugh, a cold, harsh laugh, 'That's right. Although, I didn't realise quite how much everyone was talking about me.' The girl frowns, she doesn't like being upped. I sit down and smile through the awkward tension.

Everyone looks slightly uncomfortable and I wonder if I've made a mistake coming to sit with Uriah and his Dauntless-born friends. I am just about to get up when a dark haired girl starts to speak, 'So…' she says, awkwardly 'what's it like living with Four?' her smile is a little flirtatious. I laugh it off, hoping not to sound nervous, and say, 'Like living with any brother, I guess,' she nods her head, and then the shaved head girl, apparently called Lynn intersects, 'Don't you think you have an advantage over everyone, with Four being your instructor?'

I raise my eyebrows, 'Four? Favouritism? What do you think?' It's true, Tobias is not one to have specials, he can like someone, but that won't affect the scores on the board. He is unlike anyone else in our family, including me.

I am woken up in the middle of the night; I glance around, trying to figure out the strange noise that disturbed me. I locate the noise, on the other side of the room, Al, a tall Candor transfer, is sobbing. I smile, he won't last, and sobbing will get him nowhere.

I wonder if Tris has noticed her second admirer yet. I noticed Al sneaking glances at Tris as she changed; his eyes full of a desperate kind of love. It's funny, she isn't particularly pretty or striking, with her small build and dull blonde hair, but something about her is like a magnet. Some people flock like bee's and others are repelled. I've never met anyone like that before. Although, in Abnegation there aren't many types of people; the actual selfless, and those that hide their evil in selflessness, like Marcus.

The next morning, I wake up and get dressed, heading down to the hall for breakfast. I sit with Uriah, Lynn and Marlene. Morning banter is exchanged, although it seems we are all nearly half-asleep. Then, we depart and I head over to the training room, where Tobias stands. 'Late.' I smile at him, not letting my exterior be affected by him. Then, he starts, 'The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight.' I don't know the first thing about any of this, so I know I need to pick this up quickly. Tobias continues talking and I drift off, my mind wondering to inconsequential things, that is, until he puts a gun against Peter's head, and clicks a bullet in. Peter's mouth stops mid-yawn, he obviously wasn't awake.

'Wake. Up.' he snaps. 'You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it.' Peter eyes go cold, a cruel look appearing on his face. I smile, Tobias isn't a saint, and he has just proven it.

We start shooting, and I soon get the hang of it. After about ten minutes every single one of my bullets land on the targets. I start getting bored, so, I shoot my bullets in a line down the targets body. Eric, smiles, nodding his head, I have caught his attention, and I know it. A little while after me, everyone else starts to get the hang of it, although Tris takes a while, it must be the Abnegation in her.

Lunch comes soon, and I am just leaving the room when someone grabs hold of my arm. I spin around, defensive, and ready to hurt someone, I see Eric's over-pierced face, and before I can run away, he says, 'Can I have a word?' I shudder, but nod my head. Has he realised I am divergent? I can't figure it out, as we wait for everyone else to leave the room.

By the time everyone has left the room, I am beginning to get annoyed. I am hungry, my hands and arms ache, and I do not intend to spend my lunchtime with _Eric, _of all people.

What comes next shocks me. He pushes me against the wall and starts kissing me. I gasp into his mouth and he takes it as a sign to stick his tongue in my mouth. His breath stinks, and I push him away. 'What the _hell _do you think you're doing?' I am horrified as his face drops, and I don't see the restrained, Dauntless Eric, I see the cruel, malevolent Eric. 'Don't you want me?' My face must be a picture by now, 'Do you have _any _idea what this means? Me, a Dauntless _leader_, you, a meek abnegation girl? I could transform you!' He is angry now, and I turn around, walking away, I do not want to be involved. As I walk away, I say, 'No. I don't need transforming, and for you information, I am _not _a _weak _Abnegation girl. I am stronger than _you_.' At the last minute, I turn around, 'Oh, and for the record – you should really look into brushing your teeth more often.'

With that, I walk off, and I don't look back.

**A/N: Oooh, looks like someone is a bit ****_too _****eager! Oh, how I feel sorry for our poor Lena. Can you imagine what ****_Eric's _****breath smells like? I shudder to think! Please tell me what you think and if you like Lena's rapidly appearing strong personality? I think she just might soon be stronger than Eric!**

**NovelFlower Xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I will be uploading once a week every Monday! Hope you like it! And follow NovelFlower Instagram account novelflower**

I sit with Uriah at lunch, just the two of us on the table. Apparently, Lynn and Marlene are getting tattoos. We discuss our training and I tell him about the bullets, his eyebrows nearly reaching the top of his forehead as I recount the story.

Then, I tell him about Eric.

I wonder if I've made a mistake after I've told him the story. Then, he slowly says, 'I will _kill_ him.' His voice is fierce and mean. 'Uriah!' I shout at him as he begins to get up and walk over to Eric's table, 'Uriah!' I shout again, louder this time. 'Let's take this outside, okay?' I hiss under my breath, dragging him away from the table which Eric is sat at. He doesn't respond, but just tries to pull away from my grip. I dig my fingerna ils into his arms, glaring at everyone as they stare at us.

Eventually, I get him out of the hall, and we head into one of the darkened hallways. 'What the hell Uriah? What did you think you were doing out there?' He looks at me. 'He's a jerk Lena. I know him, he used to tease me whenever he saw me, calling me stupid names, and mocking my family, saying Zeke was short and weak, and... I just,' he sighs, 'I'm just fed up of him mocking my friends, using them and making them feel like crap, and then he tries to hit on you! I guess... I lost it in there Lena, I'm sorry.'

I shake my head, 'Yeah, Uriah? And how exactly is sorry going to help me now? I am going to have to deal with one hundred and one stupid questions about why you were so mad, why I was stopping you, bla, bla, bla!. Of all people, I expected you to understand!'

I storm off, leaving Uriah in the dark as I head to the training room. I arrive early and only Tobias is there. He's standing at a punch bag, his arms pounding it, his face determined, and he's concentrating so much that he doesn't notice me. I stand there watching him, and then I say, 'You're good, aren't you?' He doesn't jump, but stops and turns to face me. 'You could say that.' he's modest, and it shows. 'They say you're something of a Dauntless prodigy.' Tobias' cheeks flush with colour, and he doesn't say anything for a while. I wait for him to respond, and finally he says, 'You're not that bad yourself, are you? Saw you with the gun.' I glare at him, 'funny, that, it's a shame really that I didn't have a gun for the past two _years _of my life.'

He sighs, 'Look, Eleanor, can you just drop it?' His voice is calm, yet his tone a little hopeless.

'Drop it?' I say. My voice is quiet. 'Drop it? DROP IT?' My voice has reached a crescendo, it's limit. I am screaming, wailing. 'You have no idea what you left me with. No idea. Tobias Eaton.'

'I know. I faced it to. It's not something I could forget.' His voice is sad.

'No. Tobias. When you were gone, he _did _things.' My voice is shaking.

'What sort of _things_, Eleanor?' His voice has become worried, anxious, yet surprisingly quiet.

'He _touched _me, Tobias, in ways... he did things... things I can never forget... things I can never undo... scars that can never be healed.'

Tobias' voice catches.

I turn away, 'You promised, Tobias. You _promised _you would protect me, you left that promise broken. You can _never _fix this.'

Christina, Will, Al and Tris walk in. I turn to face Tobias, and say,

'Time can never be undone.'

We spend the lesson working on fighting techniques. Tobias walks round the room, watching everyone, evaluating their progress. He passes out tips, points out problematic areas, for everyone except me, he avoids me like I'm a dirty, factionless beggar.

Not that I need his help, anyway.

I beat the bag, my fists pummelling the fabric. I imagine it is Marcus, Tobias, Eric and then Marlene. As soon as I see her, I stop, the guilt replacing the adrenaline that was coursing through my veins. I know I shouldn't feel jealous, but I do. I've seen the way she looks at him. Her smile flirtatious, laughing at his jokes, and even worse, the way he laughs at her jokes, the way he always seems to know what she's going to do. I am ashamed to admit it, but I _am _jealous of Marlene.

That night, at dinner, I can't look Marlene in the eye. I can't bear to live with my thoughts, what has she ever done to me?

Luckily, I notice Tris, Al, Will and Christiana going to get tattoo's, and I use the lousy excuse of 'Getting to know my fellow transfers better,' to escape Marlene and Uriah. I walk after them, joining in with their jokes, something about Tris' tattoo, mocking her Abnegation, uptight self.

I browse around the tattoo room, looking through various tattoo books; I flick through what seems like a hundred books, a million designs, not feeling anything towards them. Finally, when everyone has had their tattoo done, I find one; an eagle, its claws reaching my shoulders, its head below the nape of my neck, and its body, in flight across my back.

The tattoo takes a long time, and after a while I begin to get pins and needles in my legs. I feel the ink soak into my skin, as the needle replicates the pattern onto my back. As I lie there, face down, I imagine letting all my fears go, the past, embracing my Dauntless future, and remembering the reason I chose this faction. Dauntless are free.

Eventually, the guy is finished and I get up, heading back to the dormitory. Everyone else is asleep, and I hope no-one has noticed I am over curfew. As my head hits the mattress, I fall straight to sleep, not waiting to listen to see if anyone has heard me.

**A/N: Suspense!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: It's been a week – and yet it feels like so, so much longer! I have written up to Chapter 8, before realising it was only up to Chapter 5 online. I also know, that as a writer the more I upload, the more views this story will get on the FanFiction site. Which, is why I have decided to upload, not every Monday but the day after I finish a Chapter (the editing is always better on the second day) so tonight I'll be doing a bulk upload! I hope you guys don't mind! I'd also like to say a HUGE thank-you to my 20 followers, 11 favourites and to everyone because my story has reached an amazing 1190 views! **

**-NovelFlower xx**

'Two of you won't be fighting today, as there isn't enough time.' Tobias' voice rings out in the training room. He walks away from the board, and I search for my name, soon enough finding it. Next to Drew.

It's not that bad. I could've had worse, and I could've had better. Drew isn't particularly tall, but he's bulky, and strong. He is forever hunched, his old-carrot orange hair flopping over his eyes.

All I need to do now is figure out his weakness.

Drew, when with Peter, is dangerous, his build makes him someone hard to beat, but only with Peter's brains behind him. Without Peter's intelligence and guidance, all Drew is, is a strong guy with a lot of weight that could be, potentially, used against him. As well as this, Drew is slower than most, his weight and build stopping him from moving too fast.

This is where having large shoulders, but not weighing much comes in handy. If Drew can catch me, there is a forty percent chance I could win, maybe less. Instead, I have to move fast, stopping him from getting to me. I have to hit him where it hurts, and quick.

I watch Al and Will. Al seems nervous, a little tense, and uneasy. He seems reluctant to hurt his friend, he won't last long. Will seems oblivious to Al's obvious advantage over him, like Drew, Al is slow, but powerful. Very powerful. They stand opposite each other, circling. Eric makes some stupid comment, which results in a tense argument between Tobias and Eric. It's fun to watch.

The rules are eventually clarified; the fight stops when one of the fighters cannot fight anymore. You cannot concede.

Al beats Will, quickly. Once the fight actually starts it doesn't last for long. Al soon punches the life out of Will, then horrified at his actions, desperately tries to wake up an unconscious Will. I smile. Al is not Dauntless – he cares to much.

Then, it's me. I don't spend long circling, watching him. I don't wait for him to make the first move. If I do, then I know I will lose this fight. Instead, I charge, a yell emerging from my throat. Before he can react, I punch him in the gut. Drew doubles over, and I smile, ducking under his lousy swing, vaguely aimed at my face. He is clumsy, slow, and un-intelligent. He doesn't realise I am behind him before it is too late. I kick the back of his knees, watching his legs buckle.

He falls to the ground, but not yet knocked out. 'Are we done yet?' I call out to Eric, my foot on Drew's chest, 'I'm kinda bored here.' No-one responds, so I kick Drew in the side, one last time, and the light goes out of his eyes.

He is knocked out cold.

I hear clapping behind me, and I notice Christiana, Tris, Will and Al clapping. No-one else is. I drag Drew of the stage and drop him at Peter's feet. 'There you go.' I say, 'Although, I think you're little minion might need a bit of fixing up.' I smile sweetly and stalk off. I stand alone, no-one by my side, content with my work.

The whole room is silent, except for the squeaking of chalk against the board, as Tobias circles my name. Clarifies my victory.

Then, Eric says, 'Right, Christiana and Molly,' I frown, not sure that the outcome of this will be great for Christiana. Molly may be the same as Christiana, but she is crueller, meaner, and more ruthless. Molly will not stop until Christiana is bloody, on the floor and begging for mercy. And even then, Molly probably wouldn't stop, she would enjoy Christiana's pain.

As Christiana makes the first move, kicking Molly, I know she has made a mistake. Molly's face turns a furious shade of red, and I'm pretty sure that's all she can see. She launches herself at Christiana, knocking her to the ground, Christiana struggles, growling, and scratching at the air.

Molly punches her once. Twice. Three. Four. Five. Six. After a while I lose count, desperately praying, for some reason, for Molly to stop. Blood sprays onto the ground, streaming off her face, into rivulets. Christiana screams, a scream that sends shivers down my spine. I am not the only looking shaken. Tris looks distressed as she watches her friend's blood pour onto the floor. Christiana wrenches her arm free, pulling it back, slamming her hand into Molly's ear.

Christiana drags her shaking body up, pulling herself to her knees, but instead of punching Molly again, Christiana slowly crawls away from Molly, her cries calling out.

Molly yanks her foot back and kicks Christiana like she is a wounded animal, being abused by her owner, and all I can think about is how merciless Molly is as Christiana spins across the stage. 'Stop!' Christiana begs, watching Molly as her foot slowly moves to a standstill, she puts her hand up, not that it would protect her from Molly. 'Stop! I'm done!' Molly smiles, a cold, vicious smile, but she stops all the same. I can't help but feel sympathetic to Christiana.

Eric's movements are cold, unfeeling, yet look carefully thought out as he makes his way to the centre of the room. His voice is scarily quiet and I know this can't be good, 'I'm sorry, what did you say? You're done?'

Christiana slowly forces herself to her knees, everyone looks scared - no that's not the right word - _terrified_. Her hand travels to her nose to stop the blood pouring out, and she nods.

'Get up.' It's that quiet voice again, that sounds like you are restraining your anger, Tobias does it too, and I wonder if it's a Dauntless thing, to scare everyone - because it sure as hell does. Brutally, Eric yanks Christiana's arm, dragging her out of the room. 'Follow me,' he calls out behind him.

And reluctantly, I do.

The sound of the chasm is deafening. We stand by the railing, not many people are in the pit, and I'm sorrowful of that, because I know what Eric is about to do will not give him a good reputation. Eric pushes Christiana to the cold, metal railing.

I wonder if that is what his heart looks like.

'Climb over it,' my eyebrows raise to the ceiling, her eyes widen, 'What?' she asks, suddenly innocent and not so strong. That will not work on Eric, and somewhere deep inside I think she knows that too.

His words are pronounced accurately, and deliberately, 'Climb over the railing,' Inside, I sigh, I knew that this wouldn't end well for Christiana. 'If you hang over the chasm for five minutes, I will forget your cowardice. If you can't I will not allow you to continue your initiation.' Harsh, cruel and just like Eric.

'Fine,' She says, her voice is trembling. Her chances are slim, the railing is slippery with the deadly water from the chasm.

I watch her, as she slips and comes so close to falling. I wonder where the bravery is in all of this. I watch Eric draw out every minute of her pain. I close my eyes, hold my breath, and pray for Christiana to stay on. She does, but all I can think about is – if that is what Eric does to Christiana for conceding, then –

What will he do to me?

**A/N: What do you think? There's more! Remember to review!**

**-NovelFlower **


	7. Chapter 7

Her voice is meek, like she is trying to pretend she is a weak Abnegation girl, and not a threat, like she is trying to protect herself - it makes me want to punch her.

'Lena?' I glance at her, 'Why are you so hard on Four?' I frown at her, pretending not know what she's on about. 'Don't pretend, I heard you and Four arguing- why are you so mad at him? He's your brother,'

I glare at her, 'It's none of your business, just 'cause you have some stupid little girl crush on my brother doesn't mean you need to stick your nose in my business.'  
Tris' eyes narrow, her weak Abnegation girl facade long gone, and by now everyone is silent. 'Excuse me?'

I laugh at her. 'Oh! Don't you play dumb! I've seen the way you look at him. It's obvious. I'd stay away from him if I were you – he's not your type – maybe a little too dangerous for such a poor, weak Abnegation girl like you.'  
Tris cheeks flush red – with anger or embarrassment I'm not sure, 'And just because you're his sister doesn't mean that you can be a bitch to him!'

I can't help it, all I can see is red. I launch at her, a growl emerging from my throat. I scratch at her eyes.

I hate her.

I hate her. I hate the way she pretends to be this stupid, vulnerable Abnegation girl. I hate the way she's constantly sticking her nose in other people's business. I hate the way she pretends to be genuine and selfless.

I hate the way my brother is falling in love with her.

It ends up as a fully fledged fight. I throw her onto the floor, kicking her head. I step back, drawing my foot back, ready to take another kick when she gets up. I blow a punch, splitting her lip, and causing her nose to stream with blood.  
She uses her elbow to punch me in the gut. I cry out in pain; and using my moment of weakness she kicks her leg towards my stomach. I dodge her, instead landing a blow to her shoulder.  
Suddenly, Tobias rushes in, his face full of concern, although I am not sure who for. He walks towards us. He's going to stop Tris, I know it.  
He'll stand in front of me, stop her scratches and bony figure from hurting me, he'll protect me – maybe I could forgive him, maybe - if he does.  
He has to do this, he's my brother.

Does he?

It happens in slow motion, as I watch his firm, confident movements toward us. I watch him stand if front the girl. Protecting her from the scratches and harm her attacker will bring her. It's predictable and just like Tobias. The only thing that's different from my vision of it is that –

It isn't me he stands in front of.

It's been three days since the fight. I've watched Tris be pummelled by Peter, watched her lying meekly on the ground as he kicks her. I've watched Tobias walk away- the pain of watching a loved one be hurt again, just too much for him. I've watched Tris make mistakes - watched her socialise with a fellow Abnegation member, Robert, now a bango-strumming peace-maker. I've watched this, and not felt a single bit of sympathy for this foolish fellow transfer –

All I've felt is malice.

Malice and anger, at her, at Tobias – hating them both; hating my brother for choosing some stupid Abnegation girl over his sister, hating Tris for being that stupid Abnegation girl.

But somehow, hating Tris more.

I lie in bed, thinking, listening to the other initiates attempting sleep around me, their snores and snuffles strangely peaceful. Out of nowhere, I see a load of Dauntless come in; bright flashlights and loud shouts. I get up quickly, jumping out of my bed before realising I'm only in a short t-shirt, with my undergarments showing. Like Christiana, who stands, more decent than me, in a long t-shirt, I stand with confidence and pride. Pretending not to notice when Eric's eyes travel up my body, lingering on my legs.

'Everyone up!' The shout echoes in the room, sending shivers through my spine as I hear his cold voice, watch his piercings flickering in the white, harsh light of the flashlight. I notice Tobias between the Dauntless members, watching his eyes widen at my clothing, or rather lack of it. I look him in the eye, staring him down – daring him to say anything. 'You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks,' Eric's voice is distinctive, even in the little light, 'Were going on another field trip.'

I slip my clothes on and join the frantic rush of initiates running through the pit, towards the tracks. I catch up with Uriah, smiling at him, realising how much I've missed him. He smiles back at me – and I know I won't need to apologise. The Dauntless are quick to ignite, but quick to forgive – the best type of people.

We get to the tracks a little before the transfers, and I notice a black box. I step a little closer, Marlene and Uriah right behind me. 'They're paintballs!' Someone calls out, Lynn. I've heard about these from Uriah, messy, but harmless – unless you fire them too close to the target – they're meant to be pretty painful then.

I pick up a few guns, weighing each one, feeling the difference, they're small differences, yet noticeable – the shape of the trigger, the weight, the way it's held. Eventually I decide on a light gun, which will be easy to sling over my shoulder if I need to. Then, I grab at a box of Paintballs, exchanging looks with Lynn, our smiles slightly deadly, comforting each other with our twisted ways.

The train soon arrives, and we all jump on. I try not to notice the way Tobias looks at Tris as he helps her into the car. I stand next Uriah, leaning on the side of the carriage for support. Soon every initiate is squashed into the carriage, plus Eric and Tobias.

Tobias voice calls out through the carriage, and silence falls - that's what an Eaton voice can do, 'We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same.'

I nod, glancing a look at Uriah – his smile is a mile wide, 'This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously.' Tobias' voice is as daunting as his face, except I'm his sister, so it's not, all it does it bring back painful memories 'What do we get if we win?' someone calls out - Molly. 'Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask,' Tobias raises an eyebrow – a talent we have both inherited from our mother. 'You get to win, of course.'

'Four and I will be your team captains,' says Eric. He looks at Tobias, the rivalry evident to those who know what to look for. 'Let's divide up the transfers first, shall we?'

'You go first,' Tobias' eyes stay glued on Tris as he says this, Eric smirks, and says, 'Lena.' A murmur goes through the crowd of initiates and I step forward, wondering –

Is Eric doing this to punish me – or Tobias?


	8. Chapter 8

'I want the Stiff,'

His voice breaks my heart, watching him fall in love with this girl.

I am too distracted, by my foolish brother, desperately wishing he would see the truth – wishing he stopped trying to see her in a glowing selfless light. I wish he would stop seeing her as everything that I am not. That kind, perfect, un-scarred, innocent girl, the girl he wants me to be – I can see the appeal in Tris- and for that I hate her.

Too distracted by my own thoughts, I am only brought back to consciousness when I feel a cold hand trailing up my back, rough yet kind, the way lovers would caress each other. I gasp, trying not to be obvious, 'Get your hands of me right _now_.' I say it through gritted teeth, trying to restrain my rage – yet struggling; I know what I say is quiet, but I also know he can hear me. The hand lingers between my shoulder blades, then continues tracing up my neck. How dare he, how dare he do this? I can accept it if someone punches me, I can accept someone spreading rumours, backstabbing – but there is one thing I _cannot _stand – the abuse of a woman's rights. It is the sickest form of torture, the cruellest form of abuse. It is _wrong _-in so many ways.

I narrow my eyes, and out of the corner of my right eye I see Lynn. Her head is drawn up, her back straight, everything about her indicates confidence, assurance in who she is, but I know that she is far from secure, then, I realise.

She's noticed.

Her eyes are full of shock as she slowly points a surprisingly slender finger to her feet, then makes a stepping motion, gesturing to Eric. I nod. She wants me to stand on his foot, she knows I chose the boots with the sharp heel, I am surprised she noticed, honoured that she has paid that much attention to me.

Purposefully, I lift up my foot, and stamp it down on his, feeling his foot through his thick, leathery shoes – sometimes shoes are much more than just personality statements. I desperately hope no-one else has noticed this, or I will probably not be in the Dauntless initiation for much longer.

Eric's intake of breath, and they way his hand tenses on my neck indicates that I have hit the right spot. I turn around and whisper, 'Next time, don't indulge yourself, and if this happens again, _you _won't be in Dauntless much longer,' I know this is probably a lie, but I'm good at bluffing – to survive in the Eaton household you have to be, or you won't last longer than five minutes. I learnt that the hard way.

Eric doesn't touch me again as he teases Tobias for picking Tris and her friends; he doesn't touch me as he calls out everyone's name. Uriah and Marlene join Tris, and I can see the pattern. Eric is picking those that will be good for attacking – strong and heavy – big builds, but Tobias is picking the bonier, slighter people – the faster runners. We will need to stick to defence – otherwise we'll lose. 'Are you okay?' The voice in my ear makes me jump, and then I realise it's just Lynn. 'Yeah,' I say, 'I think so – I just wish that creep would get his hands off me.' Lynn nods, 'I knew he was an ass, but I didn't think he was _that _sort of creep,' She laughs, 'Rather me than you, though,' I can't help but laugh – and then I realise – that maybe, if I got in, just maybe, I could let myself have friends in Dauntless. People who I liked, and I got on with, people who actually _cared _for me. The sorts of people who would always have my back, and maybe then, just then – I could even consider a _boyfriend_, but that's another battle, and not one to fight any time soon – certainly not today.

My team consists of me, Lynn, Edward, Myra, Peter, Molly, Drew, Al and a few Dauntless-born initiates, who I don't happen to know, it's a team that will clash – and I wonder if Eric has any idea what sorts of grenade's he has put together – but maybe that was the intention – one of his sick, twisted games that seem to entertain him.

We jump off the train, after Tobias' team. I can't help myself, and I push her. Shoving her, hoping that she will fall – beneath the train and disappear; permanently. No longer a trouble, something that will stop being a burden, but deep inside, I know she won't fall – and even if she did, it wouldn't fix anything – only putting a firmer wedge between my and Tobias' relationship.

I was right, she doesn't fall, instead jumping and landing perfectly – she seems to be adapting well. Too well – is _she_ divergenttoo?

We jump next, and I stumble, my knee giving way, I bite my lip – hard. _Stupid, stupid, _I think, _you shouldn't have fallen like that._

We sprint out to our beacon, somewhere, and in the distance I can see a flashlight – Tobias' team isn't being careful enough. What I would do to be able to afford not being careful, but it is too risky for a girl like me – I am not just hiding the scars – I must always remember to hide my divergence. My defiance – another problem I didn't ask for – how the God up in the sky, the God I used to pray too, must really hate me.

I am running, when out of the blue – someone tackles me. I gasp into the hand. The cold hand. I realise who it is – but it is too late to start screaming. Lynn is a few hundred metres ahead, and she will never hear my muffled screams, let alone catch sight of my helpless body, not in the pitch darkness of the night. The night is great for hiding. That's when I realise –

He is going to kill me.

**A/N: The suspense! Review and tell me what you think will happen!**


	9. Chapter 9

The wind is cold, and my hair whips my face. Every pain is sharp, and nothing feels numb. I hear his words, but I can't bring myself to process them. 'You're such a pretty girl, aren't you?' I say yes when he wants it, no when he doesn't. I am practised at tuning out the world. But somehow, I feel his touches freezing my skin like my father's never did. My eyes stream, but only from the wind. I know there is no part of me that can accept this. I know I will never forget this.

In a way, the events make me stronger, more determined to get through the initiation. If I fail, I will show him how I have been affected by him. How his touches weakened me, and I can't let that happen, or this will happen all again – with some other girl. Some other victim. It's ironic really, I came to Dauntless to get away with this, and all I faced is it repeated, except with a different guy. Maybe the world is just like that. Maybe the world is full of these types of people – the bystanders and the bullies.

I can't help thinking I'm one of those bullies.

I don't want to feel it when it happens. But I do. I can feel it as he makes his mark on me. He can't take away what he really wants to take away, though – my father got to that before he did. I hear the shouts, their far away, and it steels me. How stupid I was – if I had friends – people who cared, where are they now? Where is my brother – the boy who is meant to protect me? Where is everybody? The answer saddens me, and for a moment the prospect of being factionless appeals, because all my friends, all my allies are too caught up in a stupid Dauntless game to help their friend. I am suddenly started back to earth when I notice that Eric has stopped touching me. Then I hear footsteps, and shouts. Eric quickly shoots up, and I can't help by scream out, it hurts so much. He sprints off, leaving me shivering, naked in the middle of a deserted patch of woodland.

The shouts do not belong to my friends, instead to Tris, Christiana and Will. Their laughter stops when they notice me - the shaking girl, exposed, her tears streaming down her face. Will's intake of breath, Christiana's shell shocked faced and the way Tris is shaking her head doesn't matter. None of it matters, it's all over now- and nothing they can do can heal the wounds on my heart, the open wounds.

Christiana is the first one to move, she rushes towards me, 'Who did this to you? Lena? Lena!' Her voice is worried, but I don't respond, I shake my head and stare blankly at her. No-one can know about this – or I know that I'll be dead meat. I know if anyone finds out Eric will kill them, but if I tell no-one, then maybe he'll leave me alone. 'Four! FOUR!' He comes rushing round the corner, and his face falls as he sees me. 'Shit. Lena. What the hell have you gone and done now!?' Tris looks shocked, and I can't help feel smug, she doesn't know this side of Tobias. The angry side. 'It wasn't here, we found her like this, shivering, and crying, Four! What do we do?' Her voice is breaking, and it makes me angry – why is _she _crying?

Tobias pulls off his t-shirt and I can't help but notice how defined his muscles are. I guess being the Dauntless star for two years pays off. He pulls my arms up, not asking for permission to touch me. His hands yank the shirt over my head, and I can't help it. I lean into him, I know I shouldn't – he should be my enemy – I shouldn't be sobbing into his chest, but I am. 'I've got this.' His voice is calm, 'Go back on the train – we'll get on the next one.'

Everyone trails off, and I notice Eric walk off into the distance, faking his surprise. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry Eleanor. I should have been watching you more closely, I should have been there. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.' I pull away, wiping the tears from my eyes, 'Give me time, Tobias. Maybe one day, maybe one day I could...forgive you.' The idea seems foreign, and I know I am not ready. 'Can we just go back now?' He nods, and jumps up – 'If you let me carry you we could catch the next train. It comes in five minutes.' I come so close to saying yes, but I am so far. 'I'd rather run.' My voice is cold, the Lena everyone knows, the manipulative, twisted Lena. And I am glad, I hate the innocent girl I am and I hate how everyone feels sorry for her. I hate how weak she is, I hate how I know she will never survive in somewhere like Dauntless. I _need _to survive in Dauntless – I have too.

We set off, and I don't care that the t-shirt is flapping in the wind. I just run, I don't care that my feet will be cut from the undergrowth. I don't care. I've got to keep going. The train is steadily approaching, and I know I won't make it in time, unless I sprint it. I push myself, demanding more speed from my body, and, surprisingly, it comes.

Tobias is a little in front of me, and he grabs me arm, pulling me into the train cart. As soon as I am in, I pull my arm away, and I walk to the other side of the doors, letting my hair fly behind me. I have to keep going. If I jump, I show him that I am weak. But I'm not. I know I'm not.

I am strong.

**A/N: Bang on 1000 words! So close – draw it out guys! Sorry if this is too short, but honestly, I needed to end it here. I'm sorry guys. Hope you like it. I didn't want anything too much on this story, but I needed enough to imply the meaning. I hope you guys got it – and you don't mind! In this chapter you've had a little sneaky peek at the Eleanor Tobias knew. Can you imagine how much Marcus would have taken advantage of this weakness?**

**-NovelFlower**


	10. Chapter 10

When we get back its mid-day and it's too bright outside, the sunlight blinding me. Tobias takes me back to his apartment. It's pretty bare, and it doesn't look quite lived in. There is a quote on the wall, but I can't bring myself to read it. I'm too tired for deep thoughts and questions about my brother. I just want to sleep. But, apparently, that is not in Tobias' plan. 'Where are your clothes?' I just want to go to sleep. 'Don't fall asleep, Lena. You could be concussed, and I need to find your clothes' I am grateful for Tobias calling me Lena, and I realise I should probably call him Four, Tobias connects him to Marcus, the same way Eleanor connects _me _to Marcus.

'He didn't...didn't hurt me – in that way.' It feels awkward and embarrassing saying it. I wish I could just forget it.

'It _was_ him wasn't it?' I knew this was coming, but I wish I didn't and it wasn't.

'I don't know what you're talking about. Can't I just go to sleep?' I have a feeling playing dumb won't work, but I do it anyway.

'Don't try that on me Lena. I know it was Eric.' I forgot how observant Tobias is, 'I just want to know...did...did he...go all the way?' He stumbles over his words and I know I'm not the only one who's embarrassed. All I can bring myself to do is nod.

Tobias' body stiffens, his voice contorting with a rage I haven't seen before. I've seen the kind Tobias. I've seen the mean Tobias. I've seen the helpless Tobias. I've seen the restraining, angry Tobias. But I've never seen the rabid, livid Tobias, fuming and burning like a fire; red and dangerous – unstoppable.

This Tobias is scary, 'How _dare_ he! How _dare_ he do that!' It isn't the collected anger I've come to know of Tobias. He hurls a glass across the room, and as it hits the wall it shatters into a million shards of glass, sparkling in the sunlight. 'I'll _kill_ him! I will! That _bastard_!'

'Sure.' My voice is sarcastic, and cold, I pray to bring my brother to his senses, 'Tobias there's plenty of reasons why you shouldn't, and won't, do that. Firstly, Eric is a Dauntless leader and you'll get kicked out. Second, If Eric finds out I've told you he'll probably kill me, if not both of us. Third, it's happened now and you can't change that, and finally, things like this happened to me with Marcus and you didn't stay to save me then - I cannot be any more damaged than I was before. And that's partially because of you, so killing Eric will not make it any easier for me to forgive you. It will not help your case; I'll probably just hate you more.'

Tobias' shoulders slump, and I know it's over now. He looks defeated, like when Marcus would beat him, and he would just crawl up for hours afterwards, sobbing, and rocking back and forth, his back streaming with blood. Except, this time, it isn't Marcus who's done this to Tobias-

It's me.

'I'm going to my dorm now. I'll find some clothes there.' I know it isn't convenient, but I can't stand watching Tobias any longer, seeing what I've done to him. It hurts too much.

I walk out the door, hoping that no-one will notice me. The walk from Tobias' apartment to the dorm is about five minutes long, walking fast, and in that time I get twelve weird looks, two sympathetic looks and one glare. I don't really care. When I make it back to the dorm I find that, even after walking fast, I am not anywhere near how out of breath I thought I would be. Any satisfaction is lost as I find everyone there. It's about twelve thirty, and everyone is getting ready to go to lunch. 'And here comes the _slut_,' Peter's voice is teasing, but not in a nice way, it's cold and cruel. I know he's trying to pull my strings, 'So... who was it who had you then? Bet it was your Dauntless friend – the beanstalk – didn't see him around helping. Did you like it? Can I have a go next?'

I can't help it, my cheeks draw blood, making them go a pink colour. Drew doubles over, his laughing silent, and he looks like he might cry, Molly – forever contrasting – is snorting like a pig. Peter just stands there, smiling at me, and I don't think it can get any worse.

'In your dreams, smartass, no-one would take you – I'm afraid your nose might get in the way – it's just so big, really it's all I can think about. Oh – and Uriah is not a _beanstalk _– that would imply him being weak, and quite frankly, I think that's you. You'll never _really _be Dauntless, you're too much of a coward.' Lynn's voice is mocking, and now it's Peter's turn for his cheeks to go red. 'Come on Lena. Let's go, there's no need to hang out with idiots like these guys.'

I turn around and Lynn and I stalk out together. 'Thanks, Lynn, you saved me in there. And I'm really grateful, but I can't go anywhere else in this t-shirt, I've already got some suspicious looks.' Lynn just rolls her eyes, 'Come on, my sisters place isn't far from here – she'll have something that'll fit you.'

Reluctantly, I follow her. It takes about two minutes to reach the apartment. Lynn knocks on the door, the sound echoing in the hallway, and a girl appears. Her hair is blonde, and reaches halfway down her back. 'Hi. Right, do you have a shower and some spare clothes, it's an emergency.' The girl nods and steps back, her face a little wary. 'Oh- right. Uh...Lena this is Shauna, my sister, and Shauna this is Lena. She's my friend, and right now she really needs to shower.' Shauna's eyebrows shot up. 'You mean... Lena, like... Capture the Flag girl?' Lynn rolls her eyes, obviously impatient, 'Yes, sis, Capture the Flag girl. Lena Eaton. And she still hasn't had a chance to shower, so can you stop being so hostile and let her in?'

Shauna nods, and we follow her into the apartment. It's dark, and there's a small sofa in the centre of the room. Shauna walks off, into the bedroom. She comes back with a pile of clothes, and indicates the bathroom. Lynn walks me to the bathroom and hands me the clothes. 'You'll be ok, right?' I nod, 'Yeah. But, Lynn? What was that about the _Capture the Flag girl_?'

Lynn looks suddenly serious, 'Gossip spreads fast in Dauntless.'

**A/N: I've realised there's rather a lot of speech in this chapter – sorry! It just seemed appropriate. Don't worry, I know there isn't much action in this, but it was about developing relationships in this chapter, and there will be more action soon. Hope you guys liked it!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello again! It's half term where I am so I think you can be expecting a lot more updates! (No promises, though!) I've had a few requests now about Lena/Uriah, but patience is key; and like most of the YA community, I am not a fan of insta-love. Oh, no. It will come, and it has always been an intention, but quite frankly, you'll have to wait. We're doing one stepping stone at a time, and the Chapter after this may have Lena out of the initiation completely. (We'll have to see.) Anyways, after that is cleared up – let the story commence! Hope you guys like it...**

The shower is cold, but I can't be bothered to figure out how to make the water hot. Instead, I stand there, goose-bumps in all; trying to wash off something that cannot be washed off. I feel dirty, no matter how much I scrub my skin with the brush Shauna slipped between the towels. My skin is red, raw and nearly bleeding. But I still feel dirty. Eventually, I give up; turn the shower off, with a little difficulty, and step out. I wrap my towel around my body and sift throw the clothes Shauna has given me. There is a black, long sleeved, slightly baggy jumper, which she paired with a black vest. There are also some loose black trousers. I smile at how considerate Shauna has been.

I am about to step out the bathroom when I hear hushed voices, but they're still easy to hear when I press my ear against the door.

'-Eric. I think. He was touching her on the train journey – stroking her back and stuff. It was really weird –'

'Where was Four in all of that?' Shauna's voice sounds harried,

'Busy going cuckoo over that other abnegation girl – Tris.'

'What – the first jumper?'

'Yeah, anyway, I helped her with Eric, and he stopped; I thought it was over then. After jumping out the train, I swear she was right behind me, but I think Eric must have grabbed her at some point.'

I don't stay to listen any further, bursting out the bathroom door; I quickly mutter thanks to Shauna and quite literally drag Lynn out the door. 'Come on. I think I want another tattoo. We should grab Uriah and Marlene.' Lynn looks a little shell-shocked but doesn't say anything. We find Uriah and Marlene in the dining hall, eating cake. Marlene smiles, and Uriah jumps up.

He wraps me in a tight embrace, 'You okay?' His breath tickles my ear, and I can't help but feel my heart speed up a little. 'Yeah,' I whisper it over his shoulder and hope he can hear me. We draw apart and I feel my heart slow down a little.

We head off to the pit, discussing tattoos and other inconsequential topics. Every now and then, Uriah, Lynn or Marlene will give me a look. I think it's meant to be an _'Are you Okay?' _look, but really it feels like a wounded puppy look.

When we reach the pit, nearly everyone goes silent. I say _nearly_, because by the chasm is a group of young Dauntless. They are dancing and messing around, quite clearly drunk, and I am surprised to see that no-one has fallen into the roaring waters below them – yet. In the midsts of the group I notice Four.

'Lena! Lena! LENA!' His voice echo's in the pit; it's enough to give me a headache.

'Come on, Lena. It's not worth it; let's go.' It's Marlene who says this, and it makes me feel so guilty, knowing she cares about me – and really, all I want to do is kill her. 'Hang on – I've got this.' I stride over to Four, ignoring Lynn, Uriah and Marlene's protests.

'Hey...'hi s voice is slurred and he sounds like an idiot, 'Come join us – it makes it easier. It makes it stop hurting.' My lip curls, and I give him the darkest glare I can muster.

'You disgust me. You really do.' His face drops, and he looks six years old again, 'Instead of dealing with it, you drown your sorrows in liquor. Do you know who acts like that? _Cowards_. You're a coward Tobias, you know that?'

Twice in a day, I think I have hurt Tobias, and I don't feel a single bit of remorse. I stalk over to Uriah, Lynn and Marlene; they look a little surprised, to say the least. 'Let's go! What are you waiting for?' We head over in the direction of the tattoo parlour, and out of the corner I see Tobias back with his group, and he looks no different than before.

Drunk.

Coward.

When we get to the tattoo parlour I'm so angry I'm irrational. My tattoo decision is stupid and something I know, deep down, I will regret, but I do it anyway. I find an intricate pattern, triangles woven and linked together, and I decide to get it in the most obvious place possible. My neck.

Marlene looks pretty surprised, and I can't help but feel superior to her. Better. More Dauntless. It doesn't make sense, Marlene was born in Dauntless, but I still feel more superior, and I hate myself for it. Uriah gets a snake behind his ear, and Lynn gets a pattern like mine, except it's on a high part of her thigh. She takes her trousers off for it, leaving her in her undergarments; it doesn't surprise me how confident she is.

We head back to the dining hall, in time for dinner. Uriah teasing me and the bandage round my neck – claiming I look like I have a collar on. I just feign a laugh and pretend everything is ok. But it's not. I don't see Tobias at dinner, and presume he's probably nursing the start of a hangover. Serves him right.

'Do you have any idea who it was?' I jerk back to reality,

'What?' I realise the tone of the conversation has become a lot more serious.

'You know, last night?'

'Oh - right. No. No idea. It's all very fuzzy, it could have been anyone, Peter, Drew – any of the transfer initiates, or the born dauntless.' I hope my lying is good enough.

'No. No-one else really knows you well enough,' Marlene's puzzling out, and soon she'll reach the right answer, 'and I saw Edward, Peter, Al and Drew when we were fighting – plus Will was in my team, we were working together – there was no time. You don't think it could have been one of the instructors – could it? Say, Eric?'

I shake my head, I'm glad I didn't go to Candor, 'No. He's not that sort of creep, plus he's not stupid either. He'd get caught if he did.' Yeah, right. Lynn gives me a weird look, and I think she knows. But I didn't tell her, so she can't be sure. But I can't help feeling –

This isn't the end.

**A/N: Ohhh... Cliff hangers are my guilty pleasure! Sorry, sorry, sorry... I know, there are way too many in this story, but hey – it's dramatic! Hope you liked it – and yes, for those action seekers, there will be some action next chapter. Let's just say it involves a commonly used kitchen utensil.**


	12. Chapter 12

I get up early, unable to sleep, and head down to the dining room, grabbing a muffin. I sit on a table on my own, lost in my own thoughts. There aren't many people around, and no-one seems to notice me, let alone stare. I sigh with relief, maybe it's over, maybe Lynn was right; Gossip spreads fast in Dauntless, but maybe it doesn't stay for longer either, the Dauntless are too active to hold grudges, or remember things that don't want to be remembered.

I jump when someone sits down at the table, 'Hiya.' When I look up I find myself face to face with someone I don't particularly want to see. Zeke. This conversation could go so wrong in so many ways; I could let slip what happened at the game, end up telling Zeke how his brother makes my heart beat too fast.

'Uh... I just wanted to say sorry about the choosing day in the train carriage. It was really rude of me to stare. Sorry...it's just I couldn't really imagine Four having a sister; he never really talked about you. Like, at all, and I'd only heard rumours. I didn't think he actually had one – and then you turned up. So, I'm sorry.'

I nod, 'It's okay. I get it. Four can be a little secretive.'

Zeke smiles and it reminds me of Uriah's smile, cheeky and fun - yet still honest. 'I've gotta go – sorry – maybe another time.' I mean it; I think I might quite like Zeke.

'Wouldn't want to be late for the good old Eric the Cold.' I laugh and walk off, my muffin still un-touched.

When I get to the training room I am the last one there, but still not quite late. Eric's eyes narrow, and it sends chills down my spine.

'Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one,' his voice echo's in the room, 'You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pi ck up three knives. And pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them.' Everyone looks unnerved and I find myself being the only one to pick up three knives. 'Now!' The rest of the initiates move, scrambling for the knives.

Tobias starts, and Eric's glare is full of venom. He is not in a good mood today; I just hope he doesn't take it out on me. Tobias throws the knives, and they hit the target every time. He looks composed yet tense. I cannot imagine how much his head must hurt this morning.

I stand, and everything comes naturally, the knife sailing forward and hitting the target; close to the centre. Tris stands there, going back and forth with her arm; mastering the technique. She looks stupid, but she hits the target first time.

Eventually, everyone begins to hit the target, and it's just Al who's failing. His knives plummet to the floor, and his face is a picture of determination.

'How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?' Crap. Eric is like a dog with a bone and he won't let go. Al's cheek turn a hot shade of pink and his next knife spins in the air before clashing to the floor. By now everyone has stopped throwing, all the eyes in the room glued on the scene between Eric and Al. Eric's voice is barely audible, and he's so close to Al that Al's hair moves when Eric says, 'What was that, initiate?' Bully. Eric is a bully.

'It-it slipped.' Al stammers,

'Well I think you should go get it.' I know that this will not end well. 'Did I tell you to stop throwing?' Everyone else starts throwing their knives, except me and Tris. There is one thing we both cannot stand, bullying from authority figures. I've had enough of that for a lifetime.

Al looks six years old when he says, 'But everyone's still throwing.' I think I know what's coming next,

'And?' I wish Al would just catch on,

'And I don't want to get hit.'

Eric smirks, 'I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you. Go get your knife.' There is no way on earth Al will go and get that knife. And he shouldn't have to.

'No,' So predictable.

'Why not?' I wonder how long these two will keep going at it. 'Are you afraid?'

'Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife? Yes, I am!' Eric definitely isn't one for honesty, and Al may have forgotten the saying, _Faction before Blood_.

'Everyone stop!' The sound of metal clashing is grating. 'Clear out of the ring,' Eric goes back to glare at Al, his eyes colder than ice, 'All except you.' We all go to stand at the back of the room. 'Stand in front of the target,'

Al is like a big giant, his hands trembling as he walks over to the target. 'Hey, Four.' Bully. 'Give me a hand here – huh?' Four looks tired, but I know better than that. It's a hangover.

'You're going to stand there as he throws those knives, until you learn not to flinch.' Bully.

'Is this really necessary?' it's sly, and subtle, but it's there. Tobias does not want to do this.

'I have the authority here – and everywhere else, remember?'

Why isn't Four a leader?

'Stop it.' The words come out of her mouth right before I say, 'Bully.' Tris continues, by now everyone is staring out at us. 'Any idiot can stand in front of a target,' she says, 'Lena's right. It doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying us. Which, as I recall, is a sign of cowardice.'

'Then it should be easy for you,' Eric says. 'If you're willing to take his place. Both of you.' Now he stares at me. I nod. 'Tris can go first, and if neither of you flinch then this can all end.' Tris takes a step forward, and I follow.

The pressure is on.

If either of us mess up, then... I wouldn't like to think what would happen. The first knife flies through the air. Tris doesn't flinch, but her eyes are closed. 'Open your eyes.' Tobias is pushing her, a tactic that should work. If it doesn't, then everything will fall apart.

'Careful Four, that headache you must have might compromise your aim.' It's a low blow, but I can't help it.

'Shut up, Lena.' He says it through gritted teeth. Tris looks confused, forget the other initiates.

The second knife. Closer, but Tris doesn't break. So close.

The third knife. It scrapes her ear, and a drop of blood falls onto the floor, but she doesn't flinch, I sigh with relief.

My turn.

'I'll take it from here, _Four_.' Eric's voice is mocking as I step forward. He picks up the first knife, and it all goes in slow motion. His eyes go cold, but not angry, rabid, and it's then that I realise.

He's going to hit me.

The knife comes whirling towards my body. I can hear the wind whistling. I see the metal glinting in my leg, the blood streaming everywhere, but everything is numb.

Everything seems to flash in front of my eyes, memories, laughter, tears and somewhere I can hear screaming.

I think it's me.

**A/N: That has to be the biggest cliff-hanger yet, sorry for so many. I'm trying, I am, but it just keeps happening! Aghhh! Hope you liked it. This was the original plan for the revenge, the other thing just happened. Anyway, as it is half term I will try and update ASAP. **

**-NovelFlower**


	13. Chapter 13

I wake up, and it's so bright. White lights are the limits of my vision. Someone is holding my hand, and for a moment I hope its Uriah, and then I banish the thought from my mind. I sit up, and find myself staring face to face with someone I haven't seen in months.

Marcus.

'What are you doing here?!' My voice is panicked, and I quickly withdraw my hand from his grip. It's then I notice a few others round my bed; Uriah, Lynn, Marlene and Tobias. 'I don't want you here.' His eyes go cold and I don't understand how he got in the infirmary, yet alone Dauntless. 'How did you get in?' He fakes a smile, and it makes me want to hurt him even more. 'It's visiting day, Eleanor.' I glare at him, 'Its Lena.'

I look to Lynn, 'Why am I in the infirmary?' I think the whole room goes quiet. Uriah's face falls, 'You don't remember?' I am about to shake my head, when it all comes back to me. Al, the argument, Eric's bullying, and the knife.

In my leg.

'How bad is it? When can I start initiation again?'

Tobias shakes his head, 'Not for another 3 days at the least - if you can.'

'What do you mean, _"If you can"_?'

'There is debate about whether you can continue.' His voice is serious, and I know that this is no joke. 'Can we have a moment?' Everyone except Marcus and Tobias clears off, 'You too, _Marcus_.' I spit the words out, and he smirks, striding off.

'God, I hate him.' I can't help but hope he'll hear me,

Tobias nods, 'I'm sorry, I didn't realise they let him in until it was too late, I've been trying to get him to go, but he's persistent. I'll give him that.'

I roll my eyes, 'Tell me about it. Anyway,' I lower my tone to a hushed whisper, 'What do you mean _debate _about whether I can continue?'

'About two thirds of Dauntless don't think you'll be capable of continuing initiation. They accept what happened was tragic, but, in the circumstances, they felt you may be allowed to go back to Abnegation.'

'_What_?! No! No, no, no, _no_!' This can't be happening, 'I _can't _go back, Four, I can't.'

He nods, 'I know. I also know what Eric did was no accident – you were a threat to him, and it was the perfect opportunity to take you out, but the problem is – no-one else knows, apparently it's just a _tragic _accident. I've been doing _everything_, Lena, but you're going to have to prove yourself. If you can get back up and be ready for training in 3 days time – I think you can stay. But you have to prove your strong, Lena, because if you go back to _him_, there will be no-one to protect you. No support, no friends, Lena, it will be worse than before.'

I nod, 'I'll do it, but can you help me?'

'I think so... Just don't make it a big thing.'

Our agreement is formed, and with that I go back to sleep, hoping that when I wake up, Marcus will be gone.

I am awoken with a jolt, and someone is shaking my shoulders. 'No need to be gentle, Zeke.' Shauna's tone is hushed.

'Zeke?' My eyebrows furrow with confusion.

He laughs, 'Yeah, Lena. It's Zeke. We've come to help you. So you need to get up.'

I nod, and I start to get up when I realise what I am wearing. A hospital gown, but at some point, my undergarments have been shredded. 'Uh...Zeke, do you have any clothes?'

He snickers, 'You afraid of me seeing you in your underwear?'

I smile sweetly at him, hoping he can see it in the darkened light, 'I wouldn't be, but the problem is I haven't actually got any underwear on, and this hospital gown is pretty short.' I have a feeling that Zeke is feeling pretty embarrassed right now,

'Oh..right...uh...'he glances around and spots a cupboard, 'Aha!'

'Zeke shut up and get on with it – we're not going to have any time left if you don't hurry up.' Shauna hisses from the end of my bed, her face a ghostly white in the light of the torch she has brought.

Zeke rushes over, holding a tight black one piece – and some undergarments. 'We'll turn away.' He says, turning to face the wall on the other side of the infirmary.

I put the undergarments on with a little difficulty, wishing Uriah had got them in a size bigger. Then I struggle, shrieking every now and then as I rustle the bandage, and hit the injury on my leg. I am getting madder at Eric every second that passes by. Eventually, I get on the suit, and pull on the boots at the bottom of my bed.

'Let's go.'

We head off, and I follow Zeke and Shauna. 'Where's Tob-Four?' I catch myself just in time, Shauna gives me a weird look, and then I remember they were his fellow initiates, and probably knew his name already, it's just the new initiates he keeps it secret from. 'He's waiting there, for us.' Zeke replies,

'Where's _there_?' I desperately hope it isn't anywhere near the dormitory, or Eric's apartment for that matter.

Zeke taps his nose, his face illuminated by a torch attached to the wall beside him. 'You'll have to wait and see.'

I sigh; I get the feeling Zeke likes being a bit secretive.

Finally, we reach the training room, and we find Tobias at the back of the room, next to the punching bags. He nods at us, and then proceeds into instructor mode, 'We're just testing tonight, seeing how much damage it's done, and how far the pain goes.' He gestures to the punching bag, 'Kick it.' I raise my eyebrows and he rolls his eyes at me, 'Not hard, idiot, but with your right leg, the one, that...well you know.'

I take in a deep breath, and kick my leg out, not putting too much effort in; the punching bag barely moves. 'How's that?' Shauna's eyes glint as she says it, 'It's okay,' I tilt my head to the side, 'It hurts a little but not much.' I punch again, ignoring the twinge of pain, then report back. This keeps going, and the pain steadily increases, until I am up to the point of going to throw a fully-blown kick. I pull my leg back, jump into the air slightly, and kick. The bag hits the metal as my scream goes out. I fall to the floor, squeezing my eyes shut, desperately trying to stop the pain in my leg.

'Crap. Are you okay? Lena?' Zeke looks worried, and I think that Tobias and his friends might be regretting their decision.

I get up, 'Yeah. I'm fine. It's just a bit sore.'

Shauna snorts.

'Can we go again?'

Zeke shakes his head and looks at Tobias, 'Your sister is nuts, you know that?'

Tobias nods, 'Yeah, I'm starting to figure that out.'

**A/N: No cliff hanger! YAY! I'm so proud. He he. Anyways, hope you liked it – its two updates in a day! *Be blown away* Anyways, really do hope you enjoyed it – and don't forget to Review, Favourite and Follow! I'd also like to say thanks to everyone as I have reached a huge 3469 views. I know for most that's a small number, but for me, it's actually quite big!**

**-NovelFlower**

**Xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

I am in the middle of a high kick, about to hit the punching bag, when we hear the scream. It comes from in another room, not too far away.

I drop my leg, and as if by instinct we all follow the sound. Shauna and Zeke go ahead, while Tobias stays with me, me barely keeping up with him, my in-consistent jog hindering our speed. As we get closer and closer to the sound, I realise where it has come from – the dormitory.

I push myself, changing my jog into a run; but I am not able to sprint – I have to resist screaming out from the run, but I can't stop. I need to know who it was. While we're running, somehow Tobias manages to talk, 'I thought I should tell you. The rankings went up today – you're third.' I nod, and I want to ask who's first, but I can't, because I'm too busy panting. Tobias, as if he can read my mind, says, 'Edward was first, and Peter second. I can bet you that this is what it's about.' He nods towards the dormitory, which, by then, is only 10 metres away.

In the middle of the floor, in a pool of maroon blood, lies Edward. It's a gruesome sight, he's writhing, scrambling in the air, with a glinting, metal knife embedded in his eye. Tris kneels before him, desperately trying to comfort the distressing sight before her. It doesn't seem to be helping. Eventually, Edward is taken away, Shauna, Zeke and Four disappear, and it is just Tris and I left awake, scrubbing the floor, desperately trying to take away the scent.

'Look...I'm sorry...for you know, being a bitch to you. It wasn't really personal, or about you, it was more about the feelings other people had for you.'

She blushes, 'Other people, meaning Four?'

'Yeah,' I flinch, saying it, once you've said it, you can't go back, and you have to accept it. I guess that means I've accepted it.

We scrub in companionable silence, working together to remove the stain from the floor. After a while, the floor is clean, but the smell of blood still lingers. I stand up, and walk into the bathroom next to the dormitory. I open various cupboards, finding many things that I don't want to know about, and eventually find the bleach.

When I come back, Tris has gotten into bed, and it is just me, pouring bleach onto the stain. The grey stone floor turns white. It's not a clean white though, it's more like a dull, washed out white, the kind found on soaked paper. The sight depresses me, and I can still smell blood. I wonder if getting to sleep will help me, so I get into my bed, unable to be bothered to walk all the way back to the infirmary – if I could find it. I'll just have to deal with the pain.

I wake up, to find three beds empty, two of which look abandoned; Myra and Edward's. The other bed is Tris' and I presume that she's gone for a walk, I decide to go and find her – maybe some fresh air will do me some good. Although, it's not actually fresh, as all I will be doing is walking along dark tunnels.

I pull on my clothes, only shrieking a bit when my trousers catch the dressing. I know it's stupid, but I leave without a flashlight, not wanting to risk being seen by anyone but Tris. I wander along the tunnels, my shoes slapping against the stone floors. I go through the pit, and it takes me about an hour to find her. She sits, facing a wall, staring into the wall-torch on the other side of the hallway. I sit with her, stretching my legs out. 'They left,'

Tris nods, her eyes sad, 'I feel so bad, it isn't fair – not what the Dauntless manifesto was about, before.'

'I know, that was an ordinary act of cowardice – not bravery.'

'It eats away at you, doesn't it?' The question is rhetorical, she already knows the answer, 'The guilt, I feel like I could've done something – anything! He's sick, that boy, I think he enjoys the pain – like it's his own little show.'

All of a sudden, it clicks, everything slotting into place. The way Tris defended Al with me, the way she feels so bad about Edward. It's not Dauntless behaviour.

'You're _Divergent _aren't you?'

She freezes, 'How would you know?' Her voice is accusing, and I know that I'm right.

'You're not the only one.' Tris looks at me, her eyes wide.

'I had no idea.' Her head is shaking, and before I can say anything more, Uriah appears round the corner.

'Hey, Lena! Tris!'

We both smile but say nothing,

'I heard about Edward, I'm sorry. Do you – uh, want to join me? A little distraction?' To me his voice sounds flirtatious, but that could just be my imagination.

I nod, and Tris tilts her head, 'What sort of _distraction_?'

'A little Dauntless-style fun. Normally, it's just the Dauntless with brothers or sisters here that are allowed to go, but between me and Lena, you should be just fine.' He's looking at Tris when he says this, and I realise there _are_ some advantages to having a brother in Dauntless.

We both get up, and follow Uriah out of the pit, joining up with Lynn and Marlene on the way. Lynn looks at me, 'You sure you want to do this?' I just glare at her, and she says nothing more. Lynn, of all people, should know how much I hate being the wounded one – but that seems to be all I am at the moment.

We join another load of Dauntless, our pace steady, and our calls ringing out into the city. After about 10 minutes of steady jogging my wound starts to feel like Eric is stabbing me all over again. Luckily, soon after we reach our destination. The Hancock building. It is tall, and I have a feeling that what I am about to do is pretty stupid – the Dauntless adrenaline buzz kind of stupid.

We reach the lifts and I can't help sighing with relief, and I get a few sympathetic looks, to which I all glare back at. Gabe's eyes narrows as he spots Tris, 'What's _she _doing here?' Uriah shoots back at him, fast, 'She's just watched someone be stabbed in the eye – give her a break.' Gabe shuts up, and the elevator shoots up to the sky. For a moment, I wish it would never stop, just keep going, in the peaceful speed of movement, but then the elevator stops, jerking me backwards, and we all storm out. We are in a room, and I presume we are at the top of the Hancock building.

There is a hole at the top of the ceiling, along with a ladder, which everyone seems to be climbing. I don't really know how I get up, but I do, and I find myself standing at the top of the building on the roof, staring at a thin line of wire. It is obvious what we are doing; zip lining - from the top of a hundred story building.

I wonder why Zeke thinks _I'm _crazy.

**A/N: Hope you like this chapter, and you are happy with the truce Tris and Lena have reached!  
-NovelFlower **

**Xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

'No.' Zeke shakes his head, 'No way. Are you mad? You're leg is already probably in risk of being permanently damaged as it is!' I smirk at him, glad I have a trick up my sleeve,

'You realise me climbing down that ladder will probably do more damage to my leg than a bit of zip-lining.'

'Don't be mean, Zeke!' Someone calls out from the waiting crowd behind us, and the whole of Dauntless seem to rally up against him, calls and shouts – right now I'm glad I'm not Zeke.

I laugh, 'Looks like it's 100 versus 1!'

'Two.' Shauna stands behind me, 'Don't be stupid Lena.'

I say nothing, ignoring Zeke and Shauna's protests as I climb into the harness. I bite my lip and grit my teeth, desperately trying not to scream out at the pain. Eventually, I am in, and I turn my head to face Zeke and Shauna. 'Worse damage has been done now. So strap me up.'

Zeke rolls his eyes, tightening the straps around my body. 'Ready?' One of the guys says behind me, not waiting for my response, I find myself flying through the air.

I know why the Dauntless love being Dauntless. I think my blood has been replaced by adrenaline, and it feels amazing, exhilarating and all I can think about is how free I feel. Because, Dauntless is free. Dauntless is one of the only factions where its people are free. Free to do what they want, say what they want.

I feel like a bird, and it seems like hours, yet milliseconds at the same time. When in the sky, everything seems to be in proportion. Nothing seems too big to overcome. I zoom through holes in empty buildings, and laugh at how open the sky is. The ending comes slowly, yet quickly, and I am soon grabbing the break – falling into the arms of the Dauntless. It is amazing to feel like you belong.

I stand there, wind blowing through my hair, watching in awe as Shauna comes down face up, laughing as Uriah flies through the air, shrieking and screaming like a girl, waiting with baited breath as Tris struggles to pull the brake and staring in amazement at Lynn's silent bravery.

After a while, people start to disappear, Uriah and Tris head back to Dauntless, and soon it the only initiates left are Lynn, Marlene and me. Zeke is the last to come down, and like some of the more daring of the Dauntless he comes down facing the sky – not needing to look to pull the brake. It's like second instinct, and I presume they do this more than once a year.

After a while, everyone starts to head back to Dauntless headquarters, and I am surprised how easy it is to blend in. My leg throbs, but I ignore it, every now and then conversing with Lynn and Marlene, but trying to save breath. Out of nowhere, Zeke draws up beside us, and I jump, he gives me a cocky smile.

'Hey.' He mock salutes us and we roll our eyes, 'You were good out there.' It is then I realise that was like a sort of test, and I wonder if Zeke was using reverse psychology – pushing me so I would forget my fear.

Zeke starts talking again, 'There's a party tonight – you know Max – one of the Dauntless leaders?' I recollect the name and match it to the face of another cold-eyed guy, probably friends with Eric. 'Well... Do you want to come?'

I am about to say no – not liking the chances of bumping into Eric – when Marlene squeals, 'Oh...Yes! A Dauntless party! My mother used to talk about those!' I exchange a look with Zeke, and he sighs,

'Look...just try to keep it cool – okay? Technically, initiates aren't meant to go to these.'

I swear, Marlene's eyes widen so much that there is more white above and below her eyes than there is colour in the middle. Zeke tells us where to go, and then jogs off. Marlene picks up the pace, with me and Lynn trawling behind, 'Ugh...we're going to have to go now, aren't we?' I know I sound grumpy, but I really don't want to bump into a drunk Eric – it makes me shudder at the thought.

'Lighten up, Lena. It'll be good fun – and I doubt Eric would risk being seen with you anyway – it would just arouse more suspicion.' It's like Lynn can read my mind.

When we get back to the Pit, Marlene drags us to a clothing store, insisting we are not '_presentable'_. She finds us skimpy dark numbers, short, lacy and very Dauntless – but not allowing us to try them on before using our points to buy them, her eager impatience embarrassingly obvious.

Once we have brought the dresses, Lynn and I start to head out the shop, but Marlene grabs our arms and pulls us back inside. I frown in confusion, but Lynn just sighs and indicates toward a counter covered in powders, brightly coloured sticks, and black, chalky pencils – all, presumably, make – up.

The concept is new to me, and it feels strange on my face, and looks it too. My lips are an un-natural deep red, my eyes lined with black – bringing out the blue and the colour on my lids a deep, ocean-blue.

We head back to Marlene's home, a brightly coloured apartment, finding her mother sleeping on the couch, Marlene smiles sadly, covering her mother in a lime green blanket. Then, we creep into Marlene's bedroom.

Lynn wears a short, plain black dress – hugging the curves she normally hides and her eyelashes are like spider-legs. I realise how beautiful Lynn really is.

Marlene's blonde hair is wavy, reaching halfway down her back, her face is perfect, everything in proportion and she wears a black dress with lacy flowers covering her shoulders and reaching a little past her collar-bone – it's almost indecent, but it doesn't quite hit the line.

My hair falls past my shoulders, framing my face – thanks to some contraption Marlene used – and I'm not sure of my dress. It is a dark blue, with hints of black and it reaches to my neck –rumpled at the top, it is loose by my neck, but hugs my body closely a little below my shoulders.

I look sexy, and Dauntless, and daring, and after getting used to it; I like it.

**A/N: This is the sort of side you might be seeing more of in Lena – especially at the party – but I wonder – is she ready for the things that come with looking and being the person she wants to be?**

**-NovelFlower **

**Xoxo**


	16. Chapter 16

It turns out that the apartment is near Marlene's home, so it normally wouldn't take more than two minutes, but Marlene equipped us with killer heels that are so high it takes us ten minutes, with Marlene strutting ahead and me and Lynn wobbling and nearly falling on every little bump and crack. Unfortunately, Dauntless passageways are full of cracks and bumps.

When we finally arrive, the music is blaring, even from outside you can hear it, and there are a few people in the passageway, with small tubes between their lips, which emit a smoke that reeks. I wrinkle my nose, but it doesn't really help.

The first thing I notice when we enter the apartment is the two people on our right, who are sharing saliva. I look away, disgusted, but Lynn and Marlene barely bat an eyelid – I get the impression that kissing is an everyday occurrence in Dauntless. The main room is full of flashing lights, and the music is deafeningly loud. Marlene and Lynn disappear into the mush of bodies, so I decide to get a drink, hoping it will be cold – maybe stop my excessive sweating.

I have just finished the drink when I feel someone's breath on my neck, 'Hey.' I freeze and for a moment I think it is Eric, but then the person speaks again,

'I'm really glad you made it.' It's Zeke.

I turn around and smile, 'Sorry, I thought you were someone else.'

Zeke laughs, 'What, like your brother?'

I nod, covering for myself, 'Something like that,'

'You should be careful with that – it's not exactly _clean_.' He gestures to my drink, and I catch on, quickly; the drink is some type of liquor.

I hold it in my hand for a moment, weighing out the options. I can be strong, and live with the pain, let the throbbing in my leg – and heart – continue. Or I can be a little lenient. Maybe, just once – everything will be numbed, and nothing will hurt. I don't think about the consequences, I just wink at Zeke, almost flirting, and take a sip; he laughs and gulps down his.

I soon finish my drink, and somehow my cup is filled up. I find myself dancing with Zeke in the centre of the room, and it feels like everything is perfect – and everyone is happy. I wonder if it is just an illusion. Suddenly, we are on the edge of the dance-floor, our lips locking, and our breath one. I can feel his tongue on mine, and mine on his, his hands at the nape of my neck.

I don't remember anything else.

The next morning I wake up with a banging head, and find myself in the dormitory, in a long t-shirt, and I have no idea how I got there. Everyone is getting up, and I make myself get out of bed, but it's too bright and all I want to do is crawl back into bed.

I head into the canteen, flinching at the noise of talking people, and find Tris, Christiana, Will, Al, Lynn, Marlene and Uriah sitting at a table, the amount of people surprises me – but I guess everyone gets along. 'How are you?' Lynn says it with a malicious smile, and I glare at her,

'Crap. My head kills, I think I've been hit with a ten-ton truck.'

Lynn and Marlene laugh, and everyone else looks confused,

'No, Lena.' Marlene starts to explain, 'Not a ten-ton _truck_ – ten-tons of _alcohol_. You've got a hangover.' I just sigh, and start to eat my breakfast when I feel someone's arms round my neck, and Zeke's voice in my ear.

'Hey, babe, how's the head?' Uriah's fork clatters onto his table, his draw drops, and Lynn splutters, her cornflakes spurting out her mouth and onto the table.

'Zeke. What the hell do you think you're doing?'

His arms are still round my neck when he says, 'Don't you remember last night?'

Then it comes back, last night, I had kissed Zeke. _I had kissed Zeke. _Not just kissed, I'd, quite literally, shared saliva. With _Zeke_. _Zeke. _I couldn't believe myself.

'Can we take this outside?' I say it through gritted teeth, and, slowly, Zeke withdraws his arms from me. I walk out, not checking too see if he's followed. I try not to focus on the silence in the hall, and the way nearly everyone's eyes are following my steps. Including Tobias'.

We walk out of the dining hall, and head down an empty passageway a few minutes walk from the hall – far enough away no-one can hear us.

'Look, Zeke, I'm sorry about last night I was dr-'

I am cut off by Zeke, 'What do you mean? I'm not sorry, we had that conversation – when I took you back to the dormitory – and you said you wanted to be my girlfriend. Don't you remember, Lena?' His face is desperate, and he looks like a wounded puppy,

It breaks my heart to be this cruel, 'No. Zeke, I don't remember. I was _drunk_. I have very little recollection of last night – but I know I made a mistake, and it wasn't fair of me to say I'd be your girlfriend – because I'm not going to be.' His face sets into a grim line, and I realise he's going to fight for this.

Stupid. I was so _stupid_.

'I really like you, Lena. You're daring, and clever, and witty. You're not afraid of anything,' How wrong he is, I am so afraid of this, 'and you're beautiful, and sexy – and strong. Please – can't we try and make this work?'

A nicer person might agree, might say yes, try and make it work – but I don't. 'No. Zeke. You don't understand. I don't _want _to make this work. I don't like you in that way. You're a great person, and I'd be honoured to be your friend – but please – let's not take it any further.'

I turn around, and behind me I hear Zeke say, 'The friend zone – great.'

When I get back to the canteen, not many people notice me, and only a few stare, probably wondering where Zeke is. I sit down with everyone, and it looks like Uriah, Lynn and Marlene have not started eating again.

'Explanations.' Lynn glares at me.

'He knows?' I gesture towards Uriah, 'about the party?' Marlene waves me off, nodding.

'I got really drunk last night.'

'Yeah, we know.' Marlene's voice isn't so friendly – or perky anymore. 'And I made some mistakes, Zeke made a move on me – or I made a move on him – I don't know, I was really wasted, and he got the wrong impression – he wasn't drunk, and I went along with it. I told him I wanted to be his girlfriend. He took it seriously. But it's sorted now.'

Lynn looks at me speechless, Marlene disgusted, and it's hard to describe Uriah's face.

'What the _hell_? Lena! For-god's sake! My brother is human! Sorted? _Sorted? _He _liked _you Lena, really liked you! Then you make a move on him – and suddenly decide you don't want it. Your sick, you know that?' Uriah's lip curls in disgust, 'Don't talk to me - _ever again_.'

With that, they walk off.

**A/N: Hope you like this chapter! Looks like Lena might be friendless… although – is it me – or is Uriah being a little over the top? Was he mad about something else? **

**Like Lena having a boyfriend?**

**-NovelFlower**

**Xoxo**


	17. Chapter 17

We sit in the room. Waiting. It's only stage two and already, my brother hates me – and I have managed to lose all my friends. Great.

I am first to go into the room, and as soon as I step into the room, I can feel my brothers glare. 'You're sick. You know that? Twisted – and sick.' I try to ignore it, try to blot it out, but what comes next is something I'm not prepared for, 'You're just like Marcus. Aren't you?' He doesn't let me respond before he continues, 'Whatever you face in the simulation – you deserve it – and more.' I can feel the lukewarm tears running down my face.

Then, as if it is a mask, Tobias' face goes emotionless, cold, and he goes into instructor mode. 'I'm going to inject you with a fear serum, you'll face one of your worst fears, and you will not leave the simulation until your heart beat slows, and you become calm.' He nods towards a chair, which is very similar to the one in the aptitude test. 'Sit.' I lower myself onto the chair, 'I'm also injecting you with a transmitter.' I am about to protest, when he shoves the needle in my neck, and I grit my teeth to keep myself from screaming out.

I open my eyes, not sure how they were closed, and find myself in a tunnel, not unlike the ones in Dauntless, grey and full of stone. Above me, far away, is a small speck of light. I realise that is the way out, and I know the only way to get out is to climb. But what I don't understand is – I'm not scared. Something will happen, because at the moment I am in a tunnel, under the ground.

And I'm not scared.

I figure – what will happen, will happen – and I decide to try and get out before it happens – maybe miss the worst. The walls going up to the light, the exit, are jagged, and many bits stick out. It will be easy to climb – and I start, trying not to scrape my leg, climbing the wall. I am about ten metres up, on the wall, when I hear it.

The rumbling.

It starts quiet, and gets slowly louder, my heart stops, for a second, and then speeds up, it is going so fast it's almost silent. But it is not, I can hear it. Then I realise what is coming next.

It starts with one small piece of debris, which comes tumbling down, just scraping my arm – leaving a small scrape. Then another bit of debris comes falling from the exit, and another. I can see them falling, and I wonder where they're coming from.

I look up, and it comes to me that the rocky bricks are not falling from the exit, the exit is falling, the walls collapsing above me. My breath becomes fast and ragged, and I find myself clinging to the wall, pressing myself against it. It occurs to me that I will still get hit. I will still be frozen solid. I will still die. In the simulation.

It is just a simulation.

I spend, what feels like hours, clinging to the wall, contemplating my options, I can cling to the wall, my heart in my throat, my body telling me how terrified I am. Or I can jump. I cannot continue in my simulation if my simulation-self is dead.

It takes me, what feels like, a few minutes to collect myself, psyching myself into it. I look up, waiting for a particularly big piece of debris to fall, and then I glance at myself, covered in sticky blood, and I can feel the sting of rocks in my cuts.

Then I jump.

I jerk up, and Tobias just shakes his head.

'I knew it. I knew it.' He is pacing back and forth, and then he looks at me, 'You're stuffed.'

I frown, the panic creeping into my voice, 'What?' I stutter it, not sure if I'll get an answer.

'Could you make it any more obvious? Do you _want _the whole of Dauntless to know what you are? Do you _want_ to end up at the bottom of the chasm?'

I shake my head, and the tears start falling.

'You've got to think. Lena. What would a _Dauntless _do? Not what a _Divergent_ would do!' He says the word, hushed, and shakes his head, and he's still mad. 'Now get out.' I am paralysed, I feel like I can't move, until he says it again, 'GET OUT!'

I scrabble up, out of the chair, and make a dash for the exit door. I guess training is over.

I think for a minute, and deep down, I know what I need to do next.

I look at the watch on my wrist, checking the time: 11.37. I head over to the Dauntless control rooms, which we were told the location of on Tobias' tour. I walk up flights of stairs, somehow not out of breath, and the only thing that hurts is my leg, which now only throbs a little, and it's fairly easy to ignore.

After ten minutes, I arrive at the control rooms, and I can just see Zeke's head. I step inside, take a breath; and I do what I should have done yesterday. The nice thing.

Everyone turns to look at me, and quite a few of the Dauntless glare, I try not to look at anyone but Zeke. I tap his shoulder, and he turns around, his face stretching into a forced smile.

'Hi.' My tone is clipped, 'Can we...talk?'

He nods.

'Somewhere...you know...private?'

He nods again, but says nothing to me.

'Hey! Ez!' A blonde, kind-smiled, guy turns around,

'Yeah?

'Cover for me? 10 minutes – I promise I won't be long.'

Ez just shakes his head, 'Have up to lunch – it's not long – I don't mind.'

Zeke nods his head in thanks, and we walk out.

I let Zeke go ahead, and I follow him down the stairs, we are silent, except for the slapping of our shoes on the floor. We walk past what seems like hundreds of rooms, and when we finally reach the pit, Zeke doesn't stop.

'Where are we going?' I ask, curiosity getting the better of me,

'My apartment.' He says nothing more, and we keep on walking. I figure that we have spent about 15 minutes walking, when we finally arrive at a door. Zeke fumbles with the key, and I notice that his hands are shaking.

We steps inside, and before I have a chance to start speaking he turns around and looks me straight in the eye. 'I'm sorry, for expecting too much yesterday. It wasn't fair of me, you were drunk, and I wasn't – and I expected you to remember things that would have been impossible for you to remember.'

I laugh and shake my head, 'You shouldn't be sorry. I messed up, and I'm really sorry, being drunk doesn't change anything – it just makes you a Candor for the night. If I told you I wanted to be your girlfriend, then, that means...I guess I want to be.'

I don't know if I'm lying.

Zeke's eyes widen, 'You mean...'

I nod, 'I want to try, you know...make this work...'

When he doesn't speak I realise that Zeke probably doesn't want to be my boyfriend. I blush, and start to talk, 'It's okay – I understa-'

Zeke shakes his head at me, smiling, and touches his lips to mine.

**A/N: Hope you liked this! I know this probably comes as a shock to some, but what's a story without a twist? I am sorry for those who were hoping for a Lena/Uriah ship but don't give up – remember how Lena's heart speeds up at Uri's breath?**

**Anyway, really hoped you liked it...**

**-NovelFlower **

**Xoxo**

**PS: I know Shauna and Zeke are together in _Insurgent_, but there is no mention of that couple in Divergent, so please don't tell me off about Shauna and Zeke timing**


	18. Chapter 18

His hands clutch at the nape of my neck, and I run my fingers through his hair. He presses me against the wall, and I gasp, letting his tongue snake into my mouth. He whispers things to me, absent-minded compliments, and I can't get enough of him.

Maybe this can work.

His fingers curl, against my neck, and I smile into the kiss. I don't know how long we have been there, and I don't care.

Suddenly, someone opens the door and barges in,

'Hey Zeke. We brought you some lunch, thought you might need cheer-.' He stops, and we break apart.

'Holy crap.' Uriah's jaw hangs open, Tobias just stares. My cheeks colour, and I look at the ground. 'Hey, guys.' Zeke's voice breaks the silence, it and it feels so awkward.

'You didn't need cheering up, I see.' Uriah doesn't sound happy.

Zeke glares at him, 'You wanted me to be happy. I am. I've got a girlfriend.'

Tobias says nothing. I want a big hole to open up and eat me, swallow me into the earth. I couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing as this.

'We were just going to lunch, do you want to come?' I silently thank Zeke.

Tobias nods, smiling at Zeke, but Uriah shakes his head, 'I've actually got to go and meet someone – maybe next time?'

I nod, and he dashes off. I pretend not to care as we walk to the dining hall and every face turns to us. Zeke shakes his head, 'Nosy bastards.' Most people turn to look at their plates, but a few still stare, their eyes narrowed. 'Stop being nosy bastards!' Zeke's voice echo's out into the hall, and I laugh.

We walk to a table full of Zeke's friends. I recognise Shauna, Max, Eric and a few other faces, but I couldn't name them. Max laughs,

'Bagged her then?' Zeke smiles, uneasy, and Tobias narrows his eyes. I don't like Max.

'More like she bagged me,' Zeke's right.

'You're such a pushover, Zeke,' Shauna teases him.

We both laugh and I say, 'He can't resist an apology from a bitchy girl, can he?' Everyone laughs and I relax. I can feel eyes boring into the back of my head, and I turn around, finding myself staring down Marlene, Uriah and Lynn beside her. She doesn't look happy, and I can't begin to imagine what I've done now.

But, I guess:

You can't have everything.

Sometime at lunch, I feel Zeke's hand snake under mine, but my heart doesn't flutter, it almost feel like a friend's hand. No, Lena, I tell myself, _Boyfriend_. The word sounds so strange in my mind, and I can't really imagine saying them out loud.

After lunch, Tobias tells me I have a free period, and then disappears, I can't help thinking how cold he is, and I wonder if I've upset him too. Zeke and I decide to head back to his apartment, and as I pass Lynn, Uriah and Marlene I hear the words, 'Player,' hissed at my back. I turn my head and glare at them as coldly, and harshly, as I can. It feels strange being so cruel and mean to my friends. Or what were my friends. I don't know what we are anymore.

When we get back to the apartment, Zeke smiles at me, and he has a slightly mischievous glint in his eye – it makes me a little nervous. 'Do you want to continue where we started off?' I stand there for a second, thinking, and it occurs to me that there isn't much else to do but as Zeke suggests. So, I shrug my shoulders, smile slyly and force my mouth to his.

We are there for a while, our tongues searching each other's mouths, our hands grasping necks, fingers trailing through hair. I am content, until Zeke's hands start wondering. He runs his hand down my shoulder, caressing the curves of my body, and stopping at my hip. I pull away, shaking my head.

'I'm not ready, Zeke. We've been together for two seconds. We need to wait.' Zeke colours and looks at the ground.

'Sorry,' He sounds like he's been scolded, and in a way, I guess he has, 'I'm not used to waiting.' I nod, not wanting to think what he is implying, 'Do you want to do something else? Work on your leg?'

I shake my head, 'Nah. I'm quite tired. I should probably head back to the dormitory. Maybe another time?' Zeke looks disheartened and I feel bad walking off, but if it is what I have to do to stop things going too far, then it is what I'll do.

I walk back to the dormitory, not being able to bear lying to Zeke. When I get there I find 90% of the initiates, not just transfers, surrounding Peter who has an Erudite newspaper article in his hand, Tris is staring at him, eyes narrowed.

_'The mass exodus of the children of Abnegation leaders cannot be ignored or attributed to coincidence.' _I have a feeling this isn't just about Tris,_ 'The recent transfer of Beatrice and Caleb Prior, as well as Eleanor Eaton (another questionable case - as her brother also transferred to Dauntless), the Prior children belonging to Andrew Prior, calls into question the soundness of Abnegation's values and teachings.'_

I hiss, and I find myself staring into Lynn, Marlene and Uriah's eyes. Tris is frozen, too shocked too say anything. I launch at Peter,

'Give that here!'

He laughs and holds it above my head. 'Jump.' If only I was a little taller, I could reach it, but I can't and he knows I won't jump for it.

Peter smirks and continues reading, _'Why else would the children of such an important man decide that the lifestyle he has set out for them is not an admirable one?'_ At this point, Molly smirks, and I am apprehensive of what is to come, _'Molly Atwood, a fellow Dauntless transfer, suggests a disturbed and abusive upbringing to blame.' _She's got the wrong family, _'She was talking in her sleep once. Molly says. 'She was telling her father to stop doing something. I don't know what it was, but it gave her nightmares.'_

I can't help thinking that they have pointed the finger in the wrong direction, when the right answer is right before their eyes.

Molly now smiles, revealing her wonky teeth, which seem to dangle precariously from her gums. 'What?' Tris' voice is scratchy, and she clears her throat, '_What?' _

I glance around, watching the variant of looks sent towards Tris, and I am glad that I am not her. So glad. 'Give me that.' She looks small and weak compared to Peter, her face sunset red - and I am not sure whether it is from embarrassment or anger. She holds out her hand, as if Peter would hand it to her. Give in.

'But I'm not done reading.' He has a laughing tone in his voice, but underlying I can hear the coldness of his voice – of his heart. He drops his gaze to the article again, _'However, perhaps the answer lies not in a morally bereft man, but in the corrupted ideals of an entire faction. Perhaps the answer is that we have entrusted our city to a group of proselytizing tyrants who do not know how to lead us out of poverty and into prosperity.' _

At that moment, I hate Erudite; I hate Erudite with all my might. Tris storms up to Peter, her hands grasping thin air as she tries to take the paper from his hand, as he dangles it high in the air. It's funny what a fragile piece of paper can do one. Tris lifts her heel and grinds her boot into his foot. Peter grits his teeth, and the ghost of a groan rings out. Then, Tris launches herself at Molly, attempting to knock her to the ground, but Will's hands wrap around her waist.

'That's my father!' She screams. 'My father, you coward!' Will lifts Tris into the air and she struggles against him as he lifts her out the room.

But Peter's not getting off that easily.

I kick him where it hurts the most, and he cries out. Then I force him to him knees, and punch him; his head reels back. 'Don't you ever badmouth Abnegation again, you ass.' I look around, 'And the rest of you – clear off! The shows over.'

I turn around and sit on my bed, watching everyone leave the dormitory.

* * *

**A/N: Hoped you liked this chapter! Sorry I haven't updated in ages (well it feels like ages anyway) but I've been super busy so... Sorry...anyways please remember to review, fav and follow! Oh and I'd like to say thankyou for 30 followers and ****_over 5000 _****views! WOW! Thanks sooooo much guys!**

**-NovelFlower**

**Xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

I am the last to walk into the room the next day, the last to experience the nightmare, and I am dreading what is to come. Somehow, for some reason, Tobias is still mad at me; I can feel it when I walk into the room, the tension is like static – it crackles in the air.

I walk to the chair, desperate for it to end as soon as possible, to end before it starts. Somehow, I have a feeling what is coming is worse than yesterday. I lie down, and Tobias says nothing, he just injects me with the serum, attaches the wires to my head, and steps back. I don't really know what I've done, I have a feeling that it was to do with the snarky '_Player' _comment from Lynn yesterday; but it's just a feeling.

I shut my eyes, and when I open them I am standing in a room – with the man I have hated for all my life. The man who abused me. Who abused his power.

My father.

I glance around, and I realise that Tobias stands in a corner of the living room. My childhood home, living room. It is bare, not much furniture and no-one moves. I wonder what's going on, but it's not like I am not scared.I am already scared. So scared. Terrified. Anything with Marcus and Tobias involved will probably kill me.

Marcus steps toward me, and in his hand, I see his favourite tool. His belt. I know the feel, the cold metal of the buckle, the rough, rope-like consistency of the leather. He brings it above his head, and I cower, ten years old again, glancing at Tobias.

Why isn't he doing anything?

He isn't protecting me, he isn't jumping in front. Instead, the corners of his mouth stretch into a smirk, and he just watches. I know it so well, the pain, the buckle scoring my chest, and yet it still comes as a shock.

I almost forgot the intensity of my loathing of Marcus.

But I remember as I feel the pain, and as I cry out. Then it occurs to me – _This isn't real. This isn't real. _But I can't get out the way a Divergent would, I have to get out the way a Dauntless would. What would a Dauntless do?

A Dauntless would hit back, a Dauntless would hit Marcus back. I stand up, and I pull my fist back, yelling out. I knock Marcus to the ground, and Tobias just watches. He has done nothing. He will always do nothing. Tobias is a bystander. I should know that by now.

I open my eyes, and I am back in the room. Back in reality. I stand up, and watch Tobias – his face is wracked with guilt.

'Every day, Tobias. Every day for two years. It felt like that. You don't know how close I came to just jumping. Ending everything. When he beat me, it was like you were there watching, and I would call your name, _Tobias. _I thought I had forgiven you, but I haven-'

I am interrupted by Tobias, his voice cracking, 'Don't.' I can see the tears running down his face, 'Stop. Please...it...it...' he can barely say it, 'It hurts too much, Eleanor. I'm sorry. I should have _been_ _there_.'

'I know. You should.'

'But it's too late now – and I got out while I could, before he could do anything else to me, but sixteen years of _that _did something to you, Eleanor. Something, something that it didn't do to me.'

'What?'

'It made me damaged, and traumatised, and unstable, I _am _unstable, even now. Two years later. But I'm not like _him _– you are. What you're doing to my friends. Zeke doesn't deserve to be pulled into this, you're _sick _Eleanor. Mentally ill.'

He doesn't say it with malice, he says it with sympathy. I frown, 'I'm not. You're talking crap. I'm fine. _I'm fine_.'

He just shakes his head, 'Look me in the eye, Eleanor. Tell me you _really _love Zeke. Tell me you have feelings for him.'

I look him in the eye, 'I like Zeke.'

He just smiles, 'No, Eleanor. Tell me you _love _him.'

I take a breath, 'I...I...'

'TELL ME!' He screams it out.

'I...lo...' I shake my head, the tears streaming, 'I can't Tobias.'

'I know. You can't love _anyone_, Lena. That's what Marcus did to you. I can love, Eleanor, and I do. But...you...you can't love. It's not possible. You can't love, you can't love _anyo-'_

'STOP!' I sob, 'Please. Please, please.' My voice trails to a whisper, 'Stop.'

I run from the room, sobbing. My wails hitch in my throat, and I don't know where I'm going. But I run, and I run. No-one is around, and I guess it's past lunch break. I stop. Eventually, and I sink to the ground, my back against the wall, letting the pain take-over.

I don't know if Tobias is right.

I don't know if I can love. Maybe he is right. But what is the feeling I have for Uriah? Is it _love_? Even the word sounds foreign.

_Love._

As a child, it was something I rarely saw, but occasionally, my mother would gift me with it; she'd glance around, and check if my father was there, before pulling me close to her body, before touching her lips to my head. But, she disappeared, like everyone else, and I was left alone with a cold-hearted monster.

I hear a group of Dauntless down the corridor, coming back from work, or something, but I don't care. I just sit there, head between my knees, the tears streaming – they can't stop. The people come round the corner, and silence descends, but I don't look up.

'Lena?' Lynn. Marlene. Uriah. They weren't coming back from work, they were coming back from training. I wonder what is in their fear landscape.

'He's right.' It's all I say, 'He's right.' My voice is barely audible as I repeat it over and over again. I can hear someone come closer,

'Who's right, Lena?' It's Lynn.

'Tobias. Tobias is right.'

**A/N: Hoping you like this chapter? Whose side are you on? Tobias or Lena? (although, does Lena think ****_she _****can love? Do you think Lena can love? Or is it just ****_lust, _****and ****_envy, _****she has for Uriah?**


	20. Chapter 20

'Lena.' I don't respond, 'Lena.' It's Uriah this time, 'Lena!' Marlene's voice is accusatory, and I look up, finding myself staring into her eyes, which are colder than her words.

'What is Tobias right about?' Lynn sounds curious, not like a friend, just interested in the latest gossip; but I'm not going to give it to her. Instead, I just shake my head, before letting the tears stream down my face again. Uriah pulls me into an embrace, and I am shocked as his grip tightens around me, and he gasps.

'Ow.' I sniffle, 'Uriah that hurts. Let go.'

Uriah does, and he pulls me up. 'You're coming with me.' I say nothing, obediently following, too tired to argue. I follow Uriah back to another Dauntless apartment, presumably his. No-one is home, and when he flicks on the light switch it is so bright it's blinding. Uriah pushes me to the centre of the room, 'Take off your top.'

I frown at Uriah, quickly awoken from my zombie-like state, and Marlene says, 'She's a bitch, Uriah, we know that, but you don't need to make her take off her clothes.'

Uriah just rolls his eyes, 'It's not for _that_ reason. I'm not a pervert, but, Lena,' He looks me in the eye, 'I need you to take off your shirt. You'll know why when you do. Please, Lena, trust me.' I don't know why, because I am with a group of ex-friends that now hate me, but I take my top off.

Marlene's hands fly up to her mouth, and Lynn takes a sharp intake of breath. Uriah grimaces, 'Thought so.' I glare at Uriah, 'What? Because I still have no idea why I'm standing in your apartment with no shirt on.'

He answers my question with a question, 'When was the last time you had something to eat, Lena?' I snort, 'I don't know. I've been busy.'

'Did you have breakfast?'

'No.' I say defensively, 'I over-slept.' It's not exactly true, I spent too long lying in bed, wondering why my brother and my ex-friends hate me, but I'm not going to tell them that.

'You're skin and bones, Lena, I can see the whole of your ribcage, not to mention every notch on your spine.' Marlene whispers, as if she will hurt me with the volume of her voice.

I laugh, coldly, 'This is crazy. My weight is fine, I don't need you attacking me – is this another form of sabotage?' I pull on my shirt, 'Excuse me, I've got better things to do than be evaluated by people who hate me.' With that, I stalk out the door, not bothering to look back, or thank them for wasted time.

I head back to the dormitory, navigating my way through Dauntless headquarters, and look at the clock. Somehow, it has reached six in the evening, so I decide to retire to my bunk early.

Days pass, days of disturbing dreams, zombie-like initiates and I face five more of my worst fears. I find myself trapped in a cupboard, (courtesy of Marcus) while it shrinks; I stand in a pit of fire, slowly burning to death; I lie on a mattress, my oxygen slowly running out; I watch another version of myself killing an innocent, the menace and malice evident in my eyes, and finally, I stand before Eric as he accuses me of divergence.

By the end of it, many of the other initiates are broken, their screams wake me up from my sleep, and their sobs keep me up. While Tris and I are the only ones who don't seem broken; a side effect of Divergence. I am sitting in the dorm one day, waiting for Zeke to come round, when Molly breaks down, and I find myself in the midst of the drama of Molly's panic attack. She starts to hyperventilate, before collapsing, and then the screaming starts.

It sends chills down my spine.

After my _Divergent _themed fear, Tobias informs me that it would be the last time I would be under the fear-simulation; that is, in training, because our end of training test is, apparently, the fear simulation. I just hope that I won't give _anything _away.

The rankings go up that afternoon, and I find myself underneath Tris by thirty seconds, and we are minutes apart from Peter; who came third. I guess that none of the other transfer initiates are Divergent.

When I see the rankings go up, I can feel the accusatory glances at our backs, obviously from suspicious initiates – not to mention leaders, it's a wonder Eric hasn't guessed yet.

Everyone heads out the room after the rankings go up, and I wonder if there is some secret meeting in which I am not invited. I don't really care. Everything feels so numb, and I wonder if there _is _any point in going on. How easy it would be to jump from the chasm. Let the water take me down, but there are things I have to keep going for, I know that, I just can't recall what they are.

I feel someone's arms wrap around my body, and I relax into them, smiling at the thought of being in Zeke's arms, wrapped and calm, not worrying, for once.

'You do like me then? What _is _Zeke going to think?'

My eyes snap open, and I jump out of his arms, 'Eric? What the hell do you think you're doing?'

He smiles, but like always, it never reaches his eyes, 'I know you like me.'

I snort, 'What are you on, Eric?' He steps towards me, and I step back,

'So we're playing that game, then?' His voice sends chills down my spine. I back-up again, and I find myself against a wall, Eric's body pressed upon mine.

'What have you got for me Eric? Because I'm pretty sure it isn't love.'

'Of course it isn't. I just love revenge. Did _Four _ever tell you how he was always number one? How I was number two – to him?' I shake my head, 'This is my revenge, and, now, you have given me a chance to hurt two in one. I never liked Zeke, he was always short and annoying. So, to answer your question, _Lena_, I have never liked you – but I have always hated those around you.'

He leans in, locking my arms to the wall with his, his legs stopping mine from moving, and he forces his lips to mine. He bites my lip, and I gasp out in pain.

Then I hear his voice.

'_Lena?' _Shit. It's Zeke. 'Lena? What are you doing?'

Eric smirks into the kiss as Zeke's voice breaks, and I hear him run off. Somehow, I kick Eric off and I run after Zeke. 'Zeke! Zeke!' I catch up with him, 'Please! It wasn't like that!'

Zeke just wipes away a tear, 'Yeah? Then what was it about?'

I realise I can't tell him, so I just shake my head, knowing it isn't enough.

'Well...when you can tell me – give me a call. But don't come round before, okay? _This _is over.'

'Please! Just trust me?'

Zeke snorts as he walks off, and he leaves me sobbing in the corridor.

**A/N: We've done it! We reached Chapter 20! Did you like it? Tell me! Please remember to review, fav and follow – and thankyou so so much for... 6256 views! Whooo! I am aiming to finish this at the same point Divergent finished, then maybe do a sequel (like insurgent just with Lena in) but I'm not making promises!**

**Thank-you to everyone!**


	21. Chapter 21

I sit in the corridor, crying for the third time that day, when I hear the noise. Shrieking and dashing feet, and I stand up as they come round the corridor. Three Dauntless, I don't know who, skid to a stop, and their victim hangs mid-air, her arms grasped by their gloved hands, she looks up, and somehow I am not surprised at the person hanging there.

It's Tris.

'Two in one!' Peter comes towards me, 'Hey, Drew! Help me out here!' Drew runs over, and I try to make a dash for it, but he catches me as I reach the corner of the passage. 'Thought you got away, huh?' I shiver at his voice on my neck, 'I'll get you back for beating me. You know that?' I shriek as he drags me back to Peter, and I dig my heels into the ground.

'Stop!'

I sound weak, and breathless, so I'm not surprised when they ignore me. 'So, Al,' Peter pauses dramatically for effect, leaving just enough time to hear our gasps.

Al?

He had me fooled, and I curse myself for being stupid, not noticing how quiet he has been, and the way he was slowly losing; dropping down the ranking every day, while I stayed up. Peter continues, 'What do you think we should do? Keep 'em both? Or drop them both?' Peter smirks, as if shocked by his _genius_, 'I know! You choose, Al. Which one goes to the chasm – and which one goes free?'

Al's voice chokes, 'Peter? I thought you said we were going to dangle her – scare her- and take her back? You didn't mention anything about Lena!'

Now he plays the innocent act, as if we would forgive him. If he chooses me, none of his friends will forgive him, and if he chooses Tris... What would happen? Nothing. Nothing, except a momentarily mourning, before I was forgotten, before they all moved on. I am nothing. Just a piece of a moment, a memory, a story of sorrow – the girl who never had it lucky.

'Choose.' It's all Peter says, and I know who Al is going to pick.

'I...I...I can't! That's sick, Peter!' The tears start running down his face.

Peter gets out his knife, slits open Tris' arm, and then slits mine. 'Choose. Or it'll happen again.'

'Please-Peter! Don't make me do this! This is twisted. I don't want this. This wasn't meant to happen!'

Peter laughs, this time making two more slits on our arms, and pressing a little harder.

'I said choose.'

For every minute we stand there, another gash appears on our arms, legs, faces. It feels like hours before Al finally decides.

'I'm sorry.' He shakes his head, looking at me, and my tears start falling as he grabs Tris, 'Let's go. I choose Tris. Let us go.' Peter smirks, letting go of Tris.

'Clever boy. Mommy will be proud. Won't matter if _she's _gone, will it?' He cricks his neck towards me.

'No!' Tris screeches out, and it echoes. 'NO!' Al won't let go. 'Let go, Al! Let go! We have to save her!'

Al just shakes his head, 'We can't. Please, let's just go. There's nothing we can do.' He drags Tris out of the cavern and the last thing I see of her is a distorted face, shrieking, and sobbing and it is then I wonder if I _did _matter.

But, it's too late.

'So...Pretty girl...Heard you like the older boys? Huh?' Peter talking to me like this makes me want to puke.

'No.'

'Aw... don't deny it...When's your birthday?'

'We didn't have any in Abnegation.'

'Perfect,' He sounds triumphant, 'Your birthday will be today. You can die on your birthday – the last lips that had touched yours being mine, and I'll be older than you – so you won't have a problem, will you?'

'Please.' I beg, 'Please, Peter. Stop. Don't do this.'

'Shut up.' He grits his teeth,

'No! Please! What have I done to you?'

'I said _Shut up_!' He backs me into the wall and forces his lips onto mine, to make me be quiet, or just to torture me, I don't know.

'Get _off_ me! Peter!' I say it against his mouth.

He pulls away, to my shock, and smirks once more. 'You sure?'

I nod, frowning at the same time.

'Drew – help me carry her – we're taking a little trip to the chasm...'

'No!' I shriek, 'HELP! HELP! Please! Somebody help me!' No-one returns my calls, and I know I am alone. They drag me, quite literally, kicking and screaming, to the chasm. Peter grabs my arm, and Drew grabs the other.

Slowly, I am lifted into the air, and they dangle me above the chasm.

'How do you like that, Stiff?'

'I'm not a Stiff!'

Peter just laughs, and Drew sniggers.

'Once a Stiff, always a Stiff. Don't you know that, _Lena?'_

'Please, I'm only going to ask once more, Peter. PUT ME DOWN!'

No-one does, and I dangle in the air, over the railing of the chasm.

'I'll make a deal with you, Stiff.'

'What?' Anything, please, anything is better than this.

'I won't drop you, and I'll let you go free if you do just two things.'

'WHAT?' I shout, desperate to get it over with, desperate to stop flirting with death – I wonder if I am really Dauntless. Would a Dauntless enjoy this?

'First, drop ranks, quickly. I don't care how, just do it. Leave Dauntless, become Factionless – but you mustn't leave out of choice – you must be ranked so low that you get kicked out.'

Is death better?

'And, second, tell me why you and your brother transferred. Why are you in Dauntless – and not the Abnegation liars?'

I close my eyes, and take a deep breath. Then, I think. Do I really want to tell Peter this? Be disgraced, embarrassed, prove Erudite right, just to start living in hell again? Four is right, I can't love, and if you can't love, then you can't continue.

'Drop me.' I say.

And he does.

**A/N: Sorry for the huge cliff-hanger! I have had a bit of writers block, so I'm sorry if this wasn't very well written, it was hard to reach 1000 words. Anyway, will try to update ASAP...**

**NovelFlower**

**Xoxo**


	22. Chapter 22

All I can hear is the rushing water below me, the roar of water fills my head, a banging beat, the terror almost rhythmic. I don't want to die. Idontwanttodie. Idontwanttodie. Idontwanttodie.

I don't want to die.

I can't give up yet, I have to prove to everyone that they haven't affected me, that I'll get revenge, and I haven't been broken. I have to prove Tobias wrong. I have to fall in love, I have to say sorry for my mistakes. I'm not ready to die. There is so much to do. I have to pass initiation, I have to beat my fear landscape. I have to make it through; I have to prove to everyone how wrong they are about me.

I will survive. I will.

'ELEANOR! ELEANOR!' Tobias.

'Tobias!' My voice is weak and quiet, and I can hear his footsteps get louder, then quiet. 'Tobias! Help! I'm here!'

'LENA! Where are you? LENA!'

I take in a deep breath, clinging onto the rocks at the side of the chasm; if this doesn't work, I will fall. I will die. 'TOBIAS!' I use up all my breath, all my energy, calling his name; and I hope, so desperately, he has heard me.

Footsteps pound against the floor, and I can hear him getting closer. But, with every step closer, my hands get sweatier, and the rocks seem to get wetter and my chances of death seem to increase. I can feel myself slipping when I see his face, and the tears streaming down his face.

'I'm falling.' I whisper it,

'I'm sorry, Tobias. I love you, I always have – and I think I have forgiven you. I love you. I can love, because I love you.'

'NO! NO! No, don't you dare Eleanor! Hold on – PLEASE! I've got you! One second, Please!' I sob, and desperately cling onto the rocks, dreading what is to come.

'Grab my hand!' I realise, that to grab his hand, I would have to let go of the rock, and if I don't reach his hand, I will die, but I'll die anyway. I'm going to die – I may as well try to save Tobias the guilt. I reach for his hand, gasping as I catch his sweaty hand between mine. I dangle above the rocks, one hand grasping Tobias, the other dangling mid-air – suspended, like my legs.

My other hand claws at the air as I desperately try to reach Tobias' arm, I am flirting with death, but I am also flirting with life, and I wish that life would stop playing hard to get, and that death would stop being quite so desperate, and clingy. Somehow, I grab Tobias' arm with my other hand, he pulls me up, heaving with my weight.

I crawl up over the rocks, and into his arm.

'I got you. Eleanor. I got you. You're safe now.'

And I sob into his arms.

**A/N: Right. Don't rant, don't tell me off – I know this chapter is only 488 words! I know! I have multiple reasons for this:**

**1) I couldn't leave it on the cliff hanger for much longer. **

**2) It felt right to end this chapter here.**

**Ok, so not multiple, two. But, I have updated – and I am hoping to update ASAP. So don't rant. **

**3**

**-NovelFlower**


	23. Chapter 23

I wipe the tears from my eyes, and sniff, feeling meek, and useless. 'I think I'm going to go back to the dormitory, now. Thanks, for, you know, saving me.'

Tobias looks at me like I'm mad, 'No you're not. You're coming with me.'

'You can't tell me what to do.'

'I can when you've just been dangling over the chasm for the last half an hour. Come with me.'

'Where are we going?' I wish he would just let me go back to the dorm.

He puts his hand on my back and leads me away from the chasm, 'The Infirmary.'

'No.' I refuse, shaking my head, 'No way. They'll never let me continue initiation after this. Tobias, this will be the second time in the infirmary, in a matter of weeks, they'll make me go to the Factionless, or worse.'

He laughs at me, 'Eleanor. Yes. Way. I am _not _letting you go back to the dorm when you're arms and legs are like sliced ribbons, you have a huge gash on your forehead, and you've just come this close,' He puts his thumb and forefinger together, 'to death.' He is calm, and I know that no fighting, aggressive, or peaceful will win him over.

But as the saying goes,

It's fight or flight.

I pull myself away from Tobias, and put my head down. Then I sprint. I can hear his shouts echoing behind me, and his footsteps clash with mine; every time one of my feet goes down, so does his. 'LENA!' He calls, and he sounds angry. I run faster, pushing myself, telling myself that if I get to the corner, I'll make it. I nearly reach the sharp turn at the edge of the pit when I feel his arms around me stomach.

'Get off me! Tobias!' I shriek at him as he lifts me in the air, and my legs kick, but all I can hear is the whistling of the wind, no grunts of pain. 'Tobias! Drop me!' And, to my surprise, he does.

'God, Lena! You're so frustrating!' I stare at him, and the anger, that he isn't restraining, 'One minute you're sobbing into my arms, and telling me you've forgiven me, you love me; and then the next, you're running away from me!'

'It's not about you – I just didn't need help!'

'You very clearly did! I'm fed up of this! I'm fed up of you pushing away everyone who cares about you! You shut your friends out – maybe if you'd explained what had happened your friends wouldn't be so angry – you shut Zeke out! He comes round to mine tonight, like a six year old in tears, because he found you kissing Eric! What the hell is going on?'

'No! It's not like that with Eric!' I protest,

'Then what _is _it like?' He glares at me,

'It's been a month and a half since..._that_...night... And, he obviously thought I was too happy, so he thought he'd mess my life up a bit more! You know Eric! It's all a game too him.'

'Maybe you should explain that to Zeke.'

I laugh, 'Is that a joke? Is that meant to be funny? Because, you, of all people, should know what would happen if I told _anyone _else what really happened! We'd both be at the bottom of the chasm, no rescues, as well as who-ever we told!'

'I'm sick of these secrets Lena! I hate keeping things from people – I wish we could just tell...people.'

I narrow my eyes, and it clicks, 'You're in love with her aren't you?'

'Who?'

I snort, 'Tris, obviously. I knew you liked her that way, but I hadn't realised you _loved _her in that way.'

'No. No I don't. She's just an initiate.'

'How did you know I was here?'

He stutters, 'Tris...told me.'

I nod, coaxing more and more out of him, 'And where's Tris now?'

He looks sheepish, and he gives me a grimace, as if looking sorry would help his case, 'My apartment,'

'Look. I don't really care what you do with you love life. I don't give a shit. But if you as much as _hint _about the secrets about Marcus and Eric, _I _will kill her. Clear?'

'This isn't fair, Eleanor, and you know it.'

I walk away and call over my shoulder, 'Life isn't fair, Tobias.'

I head back to the dormitory, and when I get there, everyone is asleep, except for Tris, whose bunk is empty. Peter, and Drew look pretty bad off, and I have to resist the temptation of finishing them off. They'll be shocked when they see me tomorrow, in training; they think I'm dead right now. They think I am at the bottom of the chasm, lifeless and limp. But I've come back.

I'll always come back.

I clean myself up in the bathroom, and wrap my arms and legs in tight bandages, which I'll cover up with my long-sleeved Dauntless clothing tomorrow. I look at the clock in the bathroom, and it reads 1.30. It's funny how much can happen in a few hours.

I am about to go to my bed, when I get a sudden nausea in my stomach. It comes on quick, and fast, and I find myself puking in the bathroom. The vomit makes my throat sore, and I brush my teeth three times, not able to get the acidic taste out of my mouth.

I smile to myself, thinking about what a crap day it has been, from start to end; and I do the only thing I can do at that moment – go to sleep. I hope in the morning my nausea has gone away.

Unfortunately, in the morning it hasn't, and, if anything, it has got worse. After I vomit again, I start to get dressed. I am struggling with my top when I notice something in the corner of the bathroom. Something that reminds me. I think back, counting the days, and realise;

It has been over a month.

**A/N: What does that mean? Can you guess? I'm sorry if this chapter was too dialoguey for you, but it just kinda happened... Tell me what you think it means in the reviews!  
NovelFlower**

**Xoxo**


	24. Chapter 24

I take a deep breath. It can't be. It can't happen. It _won't_. Nothing has ever happened like this before; so why would it happen now?

I decide to do the only thing possible, ignore it. I imagine putting all the images, all the memories, in a box, coating it in thick sellotape, and putting it to the back of my mind. If I don't think about it, it won't happen. I pull my shirt over my head, and yank my trousers on, crying out in pain as they hit the bandages, and the wound on my thigh from a few weeks ago.

Then, I head to the breakfast hall, determined to explain things – or at least some of it; being friendless is one more problem I don't need. I walk into the hall; and every set of eyes in the room fall on me. I glare, and then stalk over to Zeke's table. His eyes are still puffy.

'We need to talk,' I say,

'I...I-I don't want to talk right now, Lena.' He sniffs, 'Just leave me alone.' Everyone at his table gives me dirty looks, except Eric and Max, who exchange smug glances.

'Yeah, well, I didn't want to be hanging onto the side of the chasm for half an hour last night, but somehow, I was still there.' Many people gasp, 'So let's talk.'

Zeke rolls his eyes, and turns right around in his chair, 'Okay. We'll talk here, in front of my friends.'

I nod, 'Fine. I'm sorry about last night. I'm not into Eric, in _any_ way, personally, I think he's an ass.' I shoot a glare at Eric and a few people snicker, 'But apparently, some people _cannot _take hints. And I still really like you, but this was never going to work.'

Zeke just nods.

'So I guess where back to being just friends?' I phrase it as a question. Zeke says nothing in response, but stands up, pulls me close, and hugs me. I don't cry, even though I can feel my eyes filling up with tears. Slowly, Zeke releases me, and we both smile, before I walk off, ready to make my next apology, although I'm not sure what for. Being skinny?

I sit myself at a table with Tris, Christiana, Will, Uriah, Lynn and Marlene, Tris' head is bowed and she looks afraid; I'm not sure whether she's acting. I take a deep breath, ready to start my apology, when Lynn holds her hand up.

'Hold it.' And I do. 'We,' she gestures to everyone, 'were all being asses about Zeke. And we're sorry. We really are. You have won the prize for the unluckiest initiate of the year, by far, and it's not fair. We're worried about you. But we know you don't us to be worried about you, so we'll try to be subtle.'

I smile, 'Thanks.' And then the conversation starts up, everyone joking around, and we're all laughing, I don't even get mad when Marlene pushes a plate loaded with food towards me, insisting I eat it all.

'This is a hypothetical question,' I laugh nervously as I say it, and everyone on the table looks at me, 'What would happen, if, say, an initiate...got pregnant...like in initiation?' Everyone laughs, as if I'm joking, to them, I guess I am. 'Well, first,' Christiana says, 'they'd be a slut,' Everyone nods, and Marlene continues. 'Dauntless is for the brave, not the sluts, so they'd be kicked out. Obviously.' They all laugh, like I'm mad for asking the question.

They never ask me why.

We are still messing around when Tobias stands up, looking scarily influential, and everyone falls silent, 'Transfers. We're doing something different today,' his voice carries. 'Follow me.' We all stand up, exchanging nervous glances, and I silently mouth '_Bye!'_ to Uriah, Marlene and Lynn.

It feels great to have friends again.

We all follow Tobias out of the dining hall and down the paths next to the pit. We walk higher and higher, and Tris grabs Will's arm, but I'm not sure for who's benefit. We come along to a rail-less path where Tobias turns around, and takes a few steps backwards. I wonder if he uses these paths often. Tobias spots Drew, who limps a little, and lags at the back of the group, 'Pick up the pace, Drew!' I snigger, Tris fights off a smile, and Tobias' mouth stretches into a smirk. Then, Tobias' eye catches Tris' arm on Will's. The smile fades from his face, and his eyes go cold with envy.

He's like a lovesick puppy. It makes me sick to the stomach to watch Tobias fall in love with my friend. I can't help but wonder, if they ever did get together, would they ever last?

As we walk up the path, the glass above us gets nearer and nearer. Sunlight trickles in, and it feels like a treat, a novelty, but it gives me the beginning of a killer headache. We follow Tobias up a set of stairs, which lead out on to the glass floor. I wonder if he is scared of heights.

There are a few clusters of Dauntless milling around in the glass room, but we quickly head into another room. This room is not light and airy, but dark and damp, and it sends shivers down my spine. '_Dauntless'_ is sprayed in blood red paint across the wall, behind Tobias.

'This is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape.' Tobias explains, 'It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you see it.' I gulp, apprehensive of what is to come, 'Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles.'

Crap.

'Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it.' Everyone can be a Divergent in the simulation, a sigh a breath of relief, 'The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many you have,'

How many fears? Six? Eight? Thirteen?

"I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation," he says, it's funny how much things have changed since that day. "That is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body—to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two, to keep a level head. Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?"

They can see everything.

_Everything._

In one of my fears, Eric finds out I am Divergent. They'll find out I'm Divergent.

They'll kill me.

I have to practice, every moment. I have to get rid of that fear, or I'll be the one they have got rid of. I _have _to survive.

'You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example.' Tobias shrugs his shoulders. 'So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them.'

'That doesn't sound fair,' Pete whines. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault." Tobias stares down Peter, and then laughs.

'Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?' The initiates make a sort of walk way, in which Tobias strides down towards Peter, folds his arms, and says, in a deadly voice, "I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

Peter's face is slack, blank. "So now we all know," Tobias says quietly, calmly, yet ever so effectively, "that you are afraid of my _sister_, and a short, skinny girl from _Abnegation_." The corners of his lips up-turn, into a cruel smile.

Christiana shakes with laughter, and I snort, glad that Peter finally got his comeuppance.

**A/N: You may have noticed this chapter is a little longer than usual – yay! This is kind of my short chapter make-up. Soooooooo... hope you liked it. And yes, the dialogue is from the actual book, plus added bits where necessary, I just love Veronica Roth's dialogue, so I'm keeping it; don't have a go. Review if you like it, oh – and favourite – and follow! I have some goals now, so please please share this story because...**

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**Please help me reach these goals, by sharing and viewing and reviewing and favouriting and following! **

**-NovelFlower**


	25. Chapter 25

I head back to the dorm with Tris, Will and Christina, where we sit on Christina's top bunk and talk, Tris crossing her legs, Will leaning against the wall, Christina's legs stretched out. I lie down, my legs dangling over the edge of her bed, and stare up at the dull wall.

'So,' Will says, sounding like an Erudite, 'what's our plan?'

I turn my head to look at Tris, and she frowns, 'What plan?'

Christina rolls her eyes, 'You have the memory of a gold fish.'

'Actually,' Will interjects, 'Goldfish are said to have quite good memories.' I laugh at Will's Erudite, shining through once again,

'Shut up.' Christina glares at Will, 'You're ruining my point.'

'Look,' Tris sighs, exasperated, 'Can you just _tell _me the plan?'

Knowing Christina and Will are too busy flirtatiously glaring at each other, I tell Tris. 'Getting Peter out.'

'What? You weren't serious were you?' Tris sounds distressed,

'Don't you want to?' Christina wears a puzzled expression on her face.

'The only way were going to be able to do that is if...well...we'd have to kill him.'

'You're point is?' I raise my eyebrows at the ceiling,

'I just...' Tris sighs again; at this point Al walks in, and spots us. I sit up, and perch myself on the edge of the bed, watching Al lurch into an apology. 'I'm really sorry, Lena. I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry, I...I was stupid.'

I am quiet when I say it, 'It's fine. I get it. People will miss Tris, and they won't miss me.'

'_What?' _Christina bursts out, and Will shakes his head.

I just shrug, 'It's true. Tris would be missed more than me. Sure, you'd all cry for a week or two, and then you'd get over it. Every time someone would mention me, you'd all sigh, think about me for a second, and then forget.'

'No! Don't be stupid, Lena!' Tris protests, and I laugh.

'So...' Al looks nervous, 'Am I forgiven?'

I shrug, and smile sweetly, 'I guess so.'

'No.' Tris argues, 'She may forgive you, but _I _don't. You didn't let me help. You were going to let her _die. _You were going to make _me _let her die. You're not forgiven. Now get out.'

'Tris – I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do!'

'Get out.' Al scampers from the room, looking pathetic, and I jump down from the bed, leaving without saying goodbye. I hear their shouts from behind me, but I can't be bothered with liars.

Instead, I head to the dining hall, soon spotting Lynn as I step in. She sits with Uriah and Marlene at a table, but they're not eating.

They have small rectangles of paper on front of them, some have numbers on, a few have letters, and they all have intricate illustrations. 'What are you doing?' I ask, curious. As I sit down, and Marlene replies.

'Cards! Want to play?'

'Cards?' I frown,

'You don't know what cards are?' I shake my head, and listen intently as Uriah, Lynn and Marlene explain. It feels good to have my mind on a lighter topic. After a complicated explanation, I finally understand, and we start to play a game of Bullshit. The name makes me smile, and I am soon immersed in the game, finding myself turning into a competitive player. We play five rounds, before Lynn is finally declared the winner, I am decided to be second, Uriah third, and, unsurprisingly, Marlene comes last.

Lynn and Marlene decide to go and get yet _another _piercing. They ask if Uriah and I want to go with them, but we both decline. I can't really think of the point of getting another Dauntless souvenir, I'm Dauntless enough already.

'Do you want to head back to my apartment?' Uriah asks,

'To do what?' I say, warily, and Uriah just shrugs, getting up. We both say nothing as I follow him through the dark passageways of Dauntless. Water drips from the rocky ceiling in the tunnel outside Uriah's apartment, and I can feel my hair getting damp as he unlocks the door.

'What do you want to do?'

'I don't mind.' I reply, so Uriah picks up a batch of cards from the kitchen table. 'You Dauntless really love your cards, don't you?'

Uriah laughs as he deals out the cards, and we start to play. We talk quietly while we play, we talk about Dauntless, and the initiation, and it eventually leads back to our families. Uriah tells me about his mum, and his father, who passed away when Uriah was a little kid. In return, I tell Uriah about my mother dying, but I don't mention my father. I can't bring myself to tell him.

I have just won another round, when Uriah looks up at me, and stops dealing the cards. 'I really like you, Lena.' He looks me in the eyes as he says it, and I can't help but feel hopeful for where this is going. 'And I really like you, Uriah,' My voice is quiet, and my hands are shaking.

I can't stand the waiting any longer, sick of the traditions; I lean in, and touch my lips to his, before withdrawing again. My breathing hitches, and Uriah looks at me with an expression I cannot identify. 'What's that look?' I ask,

'It's a _I can't believe you just kissed me_ look.' Uriah says it with a laugh, and I'm not the one who leans in this time. Everything is tender with Uriah, nothing is urgent, and it's slow. We stop, every now and then, before laughing, or exchanging flirtatious comments. Uriah is everything Zeke isn't.

Being with Zeke is like being in a never ending race, but you have to win. Everything is urgent, and things move fast, sometimes, they move too fast. When you're with Zeke, you don't stop to joke, you just keep on going.

With Uriah, everything is relaxed, and secure. Everything has to feel _right. _

And everything does feel right.

**A/N: That has to be the record for the most speech EVER in a fanfic. Sorry guys... Just was a lot of socialising in this chapter. Hope you liked it, and all that, review, fav, follow, share – etc. **

**Now, I have a list of things to talk about.**

**1) THANKYOU! We did it! YAY! YAY! We got 10,000 views! I know to most of you experienced peeps, that is like, nothing, but WOW – for me – it's just. WOAH.**

**2) I did change the cover image, AND the blurb, but it is still the same story. **

**3) We STILL have 5 more followers to reach 50 so let's keep going. (I have recently lost a follower or two)**

**4) We only need 3 more favs to reach 30!**

**5) We only need 5 more reviews to reach 50... YAY!**

**Also, wondering how old you guys think I am... I won't give out my age because I'm not really one for giving out personal details on the internet, but you can still review and tell me... you might even make me smile...**

**-NovelFlower**

**Xoxo**


	26. Chapter 26

We break apart, and I can't help but giggle. It feels alien. "I've wanted to do that for a long time now." Uriah's voice is quiet, and tender. "So have I." It's all I need to say to reply. Uriah stands up, glancing at the delicate-looking clock on the wall. It reads 6.30, which means we have been in Uriah's apartment for two hours. "How time flies," I mutter, and Uriah flashes me one of his goofy smiles that stretch from ear to ear.

It's so easy to forget everything, everything that matters, in that one moment of happiness. Then, it all comes flooding back, Al, Tris, Tobias, and my..._No_, I tell myself, If I don't say the word, out loud, or in my head, then it won't happen, maybe it will all go away, I just can't say the word, or I'll jinx it.

We head back to the dining hall, and there is no question of a relationship between us. We already know the answer. As if by instinct, Uriah takes me hand as we get into the hall. We laugh, and talk. Nothing seems as big as it is; it's like being on the zip-wire. I ask Uriah when we can do the zip-wire again, and he laughs at my enthusiasm, promising he'll ask Zeke.

Marlene spots us, and waves us over, where she sits with Lynn, Christina, Tris and Will; my heart starts to beat harder as we approach, knowing that they'll want to talk about Al. However, when I get to the table, it's like nothing ever happened, almost as if I imagined it all, but the way my leg hurts from jumping off Christina's bed tells me otherwise, I still haven't fully recovered from Eric's knife.

We're all talking when Christina glances between me and Uriah, her eyebrows frowning in confusion, "Is there something you two aren't telling us?" Christina, having grown up in Candor, can always tell when people are lying, so I say nothing. "You're not together, are you?" Marlene puts her fork down, looking annoyed. "Maybe," Uriah cheekily replies, oblivious to Marlene's annoyance. "No!" Lynn gasps, and Will swallows before saying, "I can see it, you two actually make quite a cute couple." Christina looks at Will, and he nods, "On the topic of new couples, I've got a boyfriend too." I look at Will, and raise an eyebrow, he just nods. Christina kisses Will on the cheek, and Tris scrunches up her nose, looking away. We all laugh, except Marlene, who tightly smiles.

For the rest of the evening, Marlene refuses to look at me, and leaves early on. I tell the others, who are in the midst of yet another card game, that I'm going to quickly get a jumper, as I'm cold. It's partly true, but not from the temperature - from the vibe I'm getting from Marlene. I follow her out the hall, running after her and grabbing her shoulder. "You okay?" I ask, "Yeah," She replies, "It's just…are you sure you're really into Uriah?" I frown, "Certain." Marlene looks me in the eye, "And you're not just playing him?" I shake my head, "Promise." Marlene nods, her blonde her bouncing, and she turns around. "I guess I'm gonna head to bed, I'm really tired." She turns away from me, but not before I catch a glimpse of the tears running down her face.

I don't say anything else.

I know I should ask her what's wrong, and be the good friend she would be to me, but I'm not that sort of person, I'm the sort of person who walks away. And that's just what I do. I head to the dormitory, grabbing a black jumper, and go back to the dining room. We play cards, and talk, until late into the night, when Lynn checks the clock, and we realise it is 11. Christina, Will, Tris and I head back to the dormitory, while Lynn and Uriah head back to their apartments. As soon as I get into bed, I fall straight asleep, not noticing the empty bed next to mine. Al's bed.

The next morning I wake up too early to do anything but walk, so I decide to head towards the chasm, hoping the roar of the water will wake me up. I walk down in a dream-like state, but I'm awake enough to know I pass no-one on the way. I get down to the chasm, and let the coolness of the water try to wake me up. It doesn't work.

But the body does.

I look down, and I notice the dark shape in the water, floating on the surface of the dark blue dangers. I scrunch my eyes closed, and open them again, telling myself I'm seeing something. When I open them again, the body still lies there.

"HELP!" I scream at the top of my lungs, "Somebody help!" I hear footsteps getting closer, and a Dauntless man comes racing round the corner. "What the hell?" He says, "Is this a joke?" I shake my head, tears streaming, "No! There's…there's…" I can barely speak, barely breath, "A…a body…in the chasm." The guy rushes over, and looks down, "Shit." It's all he says. He pulls out some sort of device, and yells a jumble of numbers into the plastic machine. A minute later, six more Dauntless arrive, all holding rope. Someone tries to push me back, but I fight against them, my eyes wide, glued on the body.

They hook the rope around the body, and start to pull it up. I begin to make out features as the body comes up from the depths of the chasm. They are features I recognise. Messy, dark brown hair drips with water, but the body is swollen with water, it makes me feel sick to the stomach. As the body gets closer, I notice the big nose, the big lips, the big head, and the empty eyes, cold and life-less. Despite the eyes, and the bloated body, and the deep blue lips; I still recognize him.

It's Al.

**A/N: Is this a cliff hanger? Not sure because we all know what happens…. Don't forget to review, favourite and follow… You guys are also welcome to guess my age, I'm curious… (Just review)**

**-NovelFlower**

**Xoxo**


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